There is always a scene in college movies or romantic films where the cute and handsome athlete, or the sweet and charming boy, helps the protagonist overcomes her struggles, making it difficult not to fall in love with the character within the first five seconds of his appearance. In real life, something similar happens, just like anywhere else; it can be quite different from movie scenes, but believe me, you will most likely find that one special person during your first year. However, there are things that you must do or avoid to escape a broken heart on your first semester because of that special person. Therefore, here are some bits of advice of what to do and what to avoid at the moment of falling in love in your freshman semester/year.
1. Try a friendship first
When you are a freshman, you will probably see all of these handsome boys who could fit the role of Prince Charming, and you might start thinking up ideas and fantasies that make you say: “HE’S MINE!” Suddenly, without you noticing it, you are doing everything to be with him! That behavior is usually normal, and I believe it is one of the many situations we deal with not only at college but anywhere else. We go to the mall and suddenly you look at someone who looks just like Adam Levine and, believe me, even I have those thoughts of “I am going to marry you someday!” However, you have to be patient, little kiddo, because you never know if you can make an unfortunate mistake by trying something with this boy who you consider as your Prince Charming.
Falling in love is worthless if it is going to take you nowhere but break-up. Sometimes that boy you consider your crush, the love of your life, came by your path to being your best friend. That is the bad thing about falling into a fantasy of an everlasting crush: it is not real, and people – including you and me – cannot force anybody to do what we want. We cannot drive someone into loving us, to tell us what we want to hear, to make them do what we tell them to do. We cannot use a person. It is hard, but we have to let things happen, and if our true love story is not happening with that boy it is because there is something better waiting for us. You should never try to ruin a true potential friendship just because of temporary emotions.
2. Avoid transfers and seniors
Depending on the size and the style of your College/University, that is how you are going to socialize with people. You may be enrolled in a small university with a very loving character, for example, and it is normal that you know most of the students regarding their majors. On the other hand, universities with a larger number of students tend to be like New York City; you never stop meeting people, and perhaps most of the people you know will be from your field of study. On top of that, you may meet senior guys who are kind and helpful when you, as a freshman, have many doubts (even those related to food!). It may be very good to find senior boyfriends because they can guide you in your first semester, but there is also a disadvantage: they are leaving, and perhaps you are not seeing them again. In the case of falling in love with a senior, it is too risky not being harmed at the end of the semester since he has to start dealing with his new life and work and you, in some way, have to keep studying.
Also, that is the same situation with students that are planning to transfer; the only difference in this situation and the senior one is that it can be a long term process which can make it more painful. This kind of college species may even start as a freshman with you; you start being friends with him in the first semester, and perhaps you feel attracted to him, and vice versa. In the second semester, the two of you start dating, and it is a happy life for both. However, as the third semester starts and he begins doing his transfer process to another university, that special person may be pushed away from you. Whether he will be either close or far from you is a simple lottery. Most long distance relationships never work… at all! Transfers and seniors must be avoided at the moment of falling in love for those reasons; nevertheless, they can be awesome friends.
3. Don’t rush in finding the one!
Once I read a quote by an unknown author that said: “Do not let loneliness drive you back into the arms of someone you know you don’t belong with.” Other times, what may happen in the first semester is that your friends start dating, and you don’t. However, that does not mean that you have to run and get a boyfriend right away because you are not going be “exactly” in love. You would also be using that person so other people or even we may see that we are with someone. Something I have learned at College is that there is a time and place for EVERYTHING! So don’t worry if you don’t get a boyfriend in your first semester! As long as you pass all your courses and had enjoyed it with your friend, you may call it a successful freshman semester.
4. It is not about a Summer Love
Remember: everything you do, whether it is good or bad, is something you are going to carry with during the years of your study. And that, my friend, includes boys. The number of boys you date – officially and unofficial – really counts, and it is not like there is going to be an award for that, but it can bring consequences at the moment the person wants to be in a serious relationship. It is not like a summer love that you will spend with this guy; don’t forget you will have to see that guy your entire career. Be careful with your decisions and the consequences they can bring.
Love at college is hard, especially because priorities are others; you are not there to get a boyfriend but to get a degree. However, we cannot avoid falling in love or feeling attracted to someone (it is a really wonderful feeling), but we have to consider what is more important sometimes; how you are going to distribute your time now that it is so different to high school: classes, tutoring, boyfriend, lunch, more classes, boyfriend again, homework, gym, and work, among other things. There is going to be a perfect time to have a boyfriend at college, but we have to wait for the perfect place, the perfect time, and the perfect circumstances.