With no plans for the evening of October 31st, I sat on my sofa and questioned why I am such an obsessed fan. On that day it was supposed to be Harryween, and I, along with other delusional fans, was expecting to be at a concert. Alarm bells should have gone off after not seeing images of Harry Styles on my For You Page for several weeks. Over the past couple of months, my Instagram feed and TikTok Fyp have fed me daily updates as to the location of Harry Styles, with his brown curls, vans, and Lime Bike forming a staple of my media consumption. However, in the lead-up to what seemed like it would be a night to remember, Styles had been silent. Where did he go? More importantly, do we have the right to know?
There is a divide amongst many fandoms as to how much information we deserve about our favourite stars. I want to suggest that deserve is not the right word. The topic is survival. There have been books and podcasts, and several studies into the mind of the fan, about the dopamine rush when we see our favourite star on stage and the screams of surprise when we attend their concert and are shocked to see them in person. A fantasy comes to life. There is no feeling quite like this. The parasocial relationship is so strong and emotionally intense. Periods of long separation become detrimental.
The line will always be crossed. Harry Styles deserves privacy. His fans need to know where he is. The relationship is more than superstar and fan. The ‘One Direction phenomenon’ created what it truly means to be a fan in the age of social media. Styles is more aware than most celebrities of the importance of his fans. His concerts are such a brilliant environment because everyone there, including Styles himself, is aware of the importance of community. We build relationships with other fans online, in queues for the concerts, and in the crowds. We all have one thing in common: we’re all there to share in Harry Styles’ environment. His mantra, ‘Treat People with Kindness’, is paramount for the head of such a large community. He knows his influence. Our duty as fans is to be respectful and kind to those around us, but also to Styles himself. For a fandom that preaches kindness, our actions are bizarrely hypocritical. Stalking is unkind. Stalking is disrespectful. Stalking is how we cope.
The constancy of his presence on our social media feeds has built such an intense attachment that an absence from his image forms a void. The dopamine rush that we get from seeing him in concert is only fulfilled by his online image. Take both away, and fans are left heartbroken. Social media supported One Direction through X Factor and throughout their careers whilst feeding their fans intimate details of their lives. They grew in fame, and we were never alone. The whole system is toxic. I have seen videos of fans who have invaded Styles’ privacy and are left devastated by their own actions. No one wins. We have forgotten how to be human, or maybe we never knew. After all, this is how we grew up. People who are heartbroken that there was no Harryween may genuinely be heartbroken.
No fan has the right to know where Harry Styles is every day. Social media fuels this toxic parasocial relationship. I do not see how we can move forward. Instead, fans cancel their plans to wait by the phone and hope their favourite boyfriend stops ghosting. Maybe HS4 will come out at midnight.