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Making friends as an ambivert in university

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at KCL chapter.

 

Wondering how you  will make friends in college? You’re not alone! Having lived at home and gone to the same school, the shift into a big, new city and large college can almost be perplexing.  Somehow, after being in the same place forever, it still took me time to make new friends. Now, I fear that the same will happen in college. I describe myself as an ambivert (someone who exhibits qualities of both introversion and extroversion and can flip into either depending on their mood, context and goals) and have compiled a list of things or ways that I believe will help people make friends. I would like to insert two disclaimers here: One, I still haven’t started at university, but I have, however, begun to make friends online, so please bear in mind that my list comes from someone undergoing the process themselves. Two, I have realized that it is absolutely natural to take time to find your people so give yourself enough time to settle in.

 

  1. Go online and find groups: I understand that it’s natural to think 1000x times before you make friends online. However, websites such as WhatsApp and Facebook serve to be significantly relevant social media platforms  to meet people going to the same university or doing the same course as you. Everyone is feeling all the same emotions of anxiousness and excitement, and they’re all going through the same process. I have found that each person is exceptionally friendly, and it is always fun to have some familiar faces when you enter university. You can also plan to go to similar fresher parties and to commute to and fro together. 

  2. Get out of the room: It is very typical to find a comfortable place and stay there.  Once I know that you have a pleasant environment, a warm room and Netflix, there isn’t very much enticing me to leave my room and meet people I know very little about. But I like to think that one of the many reasons for homesickness is loneliness and a way to overcome that is essentially to put ourselves out there, however anxious that makes us. Sometimes solely being in a public space, with people around is a step in the right direction. 

  3. Stay you: It’s very easy to let the whole concept of a new place, a new school and new people make us consider revamping ourselves, getting rid of previous skin and creating this new and ideal person, someone different from who we used to be. However, my advice, from one fresher to another would be to refrain from the above, no matter the self-doubt that ensues. The real versions of ourselves are always more marvellous and enthralling. Let’s be weird self and be proud because that’s who we are! And odds are, we will find people just like us!

  4. Use judgement and be safe: Finally, the most essential suggestion would be that as it is expected to want to desperately make new friends. Despite feeling the pressure of doing what everyone else is, I would say don’t forgo judgement. This is a reminder to both, you and I. If we ever get a nauseating gut feeling or feel uncomfortable about anything, let’s stop doing it. We don’t need or want strange things happening to us, so let us use our discretion and be safe!

 

Good luck! I have a feeling we will all have a smashing time at university, no matter the kind of person we are!

 

I’m Laya, a dog-loving, coffee drinking, book reading, optimistic and self-proclaimed stand-up comedian. Also, occasionally, I write. My written ramblings are based on whatever topic has been bouncing off the walls of my brain. However arbitrary they are, I hope you like them!