Life Lessons I learnt from ‘Little Women’

Meg, Jo, Beth and Amy.

The four beloved sisters from the timeless classic ‘Little Women.’

After hearing the book was being adapted into a film, I finally decided it was about time to read the original coming of age novel, that everyone has been talking about for years, for myself. I have to say it was so beautifully written by Louisa May Alcott, who so seamlessly weaved powerful morals into what is a heartwarming, slice-of-life story. Not only did I fall in love with each character as I saw them grow, struggle, and eventually blossom into inspiring, powerful women, I learnt so much from them too! I loved experiencing the journey alongside each and every one of them, as they explored their own unique talents and hobbies and found themselves along the way. They taught me so much about life, family, work, relationships and more! So without further ado, here is a breakdown of just a few of the life lessons I picked up from reading this literary masterpiece, so that we can remind ourselves of these messages and implement them into our own lives.

1. You shouldn’t have to sacrifice your art to please the world. (Jo)

One of the main struggles Jo deals with in this novel is the problem of getting her work published. Her publisher puts pressure on her to make her writing more sensational and romantic, cutting a lot of the moral elements of her story. As Jo March famously says, ‘I took care to have a few of my sinners repent.’ This is something Louisa May Alcott struggled with a lot herself when publishing this novel. She felt the pressure from her fans and her publisher to get her characters married off to some form of romantic interest. While we all love a bit of romance, her novel isn’t just about who ends up with who. It’s so much more than that. Louisa incorporates little gems of meaning and morals into her story so effortlessly, without it coming across as too preachy. Her novel is about strong, independent women who are fully fleshed out and interesting in their own right. It is for that reason this book is regarded as such a well-loved feminist icon, far ahead of its time and still very relevant today. It seems Louisa saw a lot of herself in Jo and so she incorporated hints of her own personal struggles into her character’s life as well. I was really impressed by the way the talented director, Greta Gerwig, picked up on this quality and chose to blur the lines between Jo and Louisa so poetically in her most recent film adaptation. Her imagining of Jo’s ending is definitely one to see!

 

2. Being the best at something requires more than just talent. (Amy)

During the course of the novel, you see Amy hard at work to perfect her talent for art. From an early age she is experimenting with all sorts of artistic mediums, starting off small and making her way up from there. Amy eventually finds her way to Rome where she studies the work of some of the most successful artists of her time. Yet along her journey she discovers that ‘talent isn’t genius and no amount of energy can make it so.’ Alcott proves that it isn’t enough to just be good at something in order to fulfill your dreams, but rather every talent must be nutured by dedication and practice and these things come at the cost of a lot of hardwork and effort. Amy is a character of great ambition and aspiration, she wants to be ‘great, or nothing.’ It takes a lot of courage to admit when one should stop and decide to take a different path from the road they were expecting. Amy admirably doesn’t completely give up on her dream but decides to use her artistic abilities to help others and do good.

 

3. Marriage is not just as simple as “they lived happily ever after.” (Meg)

The truly feminist aspect of this book is that it all about giving women the choice to choose their own lifestyles. While Jo is the protagonist and chooses to take an unconventional route for the time period (as someone who decides early on to be a literary spinster)*, Alcott never bashes Meg for the choice she takes either. While, Meg has a great talent for acting and could have had a future working in the theatre, Meg chooses marriage instead. I think this is a really important lesson to learn in the 21st century because while feminism has progressed to the extent of giving women the choice to remain single and have their own career, people still look down on those women who choose to become a housewife or homemaker, or who take time off to be a full-time mum (which is arguably the hardest and most admirable 24hr job out there!) Greta Gerwig’s adaptation picks up on this aspect quite nicely, writing in the line for Emma Watson, “just because my dreams are different to yours, it doesn’t mean they’re unimportant.’ 

*Although Alcott was pressured into making Jo marry at the end too. :( But again that’s only because the book was a product of its time.

What I also really like about Alcott’s novel is that she doesn’t just end Meg’s life with a happily ever after. Although this sister is often overlooked and forgotten, some of her dedicated sections in the book offer the most insight into what is a realistic portrayal of marriage life. Of course there are the honeymoon stages of marriage in which everything seems entirely rosy and joyous, but Alcott also reveals the hard times in their relationships and teaches us that just because someone is married doesn’t mean their life will be easy and amazing. Marriage is no walk in the park, it requires work, a lot of it! That’s why Alcott importantly shows us the arguments, the tears and probably one of the most overlooked yet crucial realities of marriage – financial problems. 

No matter how much of a romantic you are and how much you claim to be blind to the superficialities of money, there is no escaping it. There will be a time when money and practicalities can become the breaking point of an entire relationship. The amount of tension it can strain your relationship with is scary. This is one of the life lessons that is really important to learn today, especially in our financial housing climate. At the end of the day, our lives are more governed by money and wealth than we think they are and there will come a time in marriage when you feel it – I mean really feel its worth. Yet the fact that Meg and Brooke preserve through the tough times is what makes their relationship so healthy and inspiring. Meg is truly happy and all the ups and downs of their relationship are totally worth it. #goals

Another key lesson, Meg learns is how to maintain that healthy relationship, even after having kids. Meg wasn’t perfect, and her relationship with her husband did take a couple of rocky roads, but with the gentle advising hand of Marmee, Meg’s marriage was soon set straight. She learnt to not let her children completely take over her life and ruin her relationship with her husband. Not only did Brooke get the opportunity to take on a more active role in parenthood, the couple were able to strike that well needed balance again, finding time to spend with each other where they could be alone. 

 

4. A simple, ordinary life is not always a meaningless one. (Beth)

Beth is the sweetest and most innocent creature to ever exist. MUST PROTECT AT ALL COSTS. The thing I like about how Alcott addresses Beth is that she doesn’t be-little her character. Again I know she is often one of the ‘forgotten sisters’ who doesn’t always get the limelight like Jo and Amy, but we can actually learn a lot from Beth too. Beth is always thinking about others, she brings harmony to the group. It is her altruism and giving nature which is ultimately what leads her to (spoilers aside – yes, I’m looking at you Rachel Green!) an ending that reflects the most defining parts of her character. Beth shows warmth and kindness to everyone she knows, especially when it comes to her family. Her love for music is what connects her to Mr Laurence and brings the entire family together. Although she leads a very simple life, her presence in the book is felt exceedingly and a space would be missing without her. I feel like Jo, in particular, who is seemingly opposite to Beth in every way, really learnt a lot from her younger sister. Beth taught the entire family a handful about how to deal with emotions and grief as well as some very complex themes.

 

5. Life doesn’t end with rejection so don’t be so entitled. (Laurie)

Now this one is kind of impossible to talk about without giving away some spoilers (SO TAKE THIS AS A WARNING!

Jo’s rejection of Laurie is a tragic one. There’s no doubt about it. Of course, I shipped Jaurie as much as the next person. Seeing them grow up together, share everything together, be such a dynamic duo and then not get married at the end to each other was heart-breaking. I still think their personalities perfectly align and they would have been great together, WAAYYY better than Laurie and Amy – which was a rather forced and rushed ending in my mind! (As I was hoping Amy would end up with Fred, so that Laurie would end up with Jo) Yet I have to accept and respect Alcott’s ending as well as Jo’s right to choose whoever she wants. (Although I do believe Alcott did ultimately write in Jo’s ending out of spite so she could troll her fanbase, and a lot of this has to do with her personal vendetta to never marry her own real life Laurie…but that’s a whole other story I won’t get into right now!)

We can still learn alot from the way Laurie deals with rejection in this story. The thing I admire most about Laurie is that he is not the typical entitled man who gets friend-zoned. Sure he broods a lot because of it and acts like a typical moody, dramatic teenager playing piano and trying to escape his emotions by bingeing and partying. But he has every right to feel the way he does and express his emotions! I totally get it. But the way Laurie (with the help of Amy) manages to pick himself up is really inspiring. He also doesn’t ever, not once, blame Jo for the way she feels. Yes he asks again because he’s sure women “change their mind” a lot, but he doesn’t ever go that step forward to hate Jo for it. He respects her and admires enough to let her make her own decision and still have a reconcilable friendship afterwards. I feel like a lot of guys today could learn a thing or two from Laurie about rejection.

 

6. Don’t judge a book by its cover. (Mr Bhaer)

Mr Bhaer is a classic reminder of this well known saying. The reason Jo looks up to him and admires him so much is not because of his appearance, status or wealth. But rather she loves him for his kindness, intellect and humility. That’s a great thing to look for in a partner any day.

 

7. Parents should be a friendly advisor for their kids, not a tyrant over them. (Marmee & Mr March VS Aunt March & Mr Laurence)

One of the best parts of this novel is the character Marmee, who shares insightful pearls of wisdom with her girls along the story. She truly spends the time with each of her children, understanding them, and catering her advice to suit each of their personal weaknesses and faults. Mrs March is a really great example of a good parent. She plays the part of being a big mentor and emotional support to the novel’s lead character, Jo March, when she so desperately needs it. Marmee also spends the time working with Amy, Meg and Beth too. She has successfully established open-communication in her relationship with her daughters, who all look up to her with love and admiration, knowing they can come to her for any advice. This is something most parents, in today’s modern world, especially struggle to do. 

Yet Marmee also doesn’t just give away all the answers straight away by instructing her girls with the right and wrong things to do. Instead she gives them the space and freedom to experiment so that they can figure things out all on their own. This kind of parenting is what sets the girls up for life in the real world, without having to constantly rely on her. Marmee’s maternal affections are also supported by a healthy relationship with her husband. Father March is equally suited to being a good parent who is supportive of his children’s endeavours. There is a specific scene at the end of the novel where Meg’s child is being extra inquisitive, asking him all sorts of questions. Instead of shutting him down, Mr March fosters the child’s curiosity and answers them full heartedly, stating that “if he is old enough to ask the question, he is old enough to receive true answers.”

Yet the novel also shows us that age does not always equate to wisdom. Some of the eldest characters like Aunt March and Mr Laurence aren’t always the best of guardians. Often they are bad examples of how elders can at times get too involved and controlling in the decisions of children, leaving them feeling suffocated and micro-managed. They at times let their own prejudices cloud their judgement. Hence this book shows both good and bad parenting at work.

 

8. Too much of anything can be bad for you!

There’s a really interesting scene towards the beginning of the novel, where the girls want to experience life without any chores or work to do. They soon realise that a life full of just relaxation and merriment can be just as dull and boring as working 24/7. They crucially learn that life is best enjoyed in balance and moderation between work and play. I think this lesson is such an important one to learn at an early age, because it gears people away from laziness as well as from over-working, which most of us still forget to consider today. It is so easy to get caught up between these two extremes. Alcott, thus reminds us all to find the middle-way. This life lesson can also be applied to so many others things such as food, exercise, school life, careers etc as well.

 

9. Don’t grow up, it’s a trap!

I think ‘Part One’ of the novel is probably my favourite part of the whole book. It teaches you all about the joys of the March family in childhood. A time before kids were glued to video games and netflix all day, the March childhood breathes an air of nostalgia and warmth. The girls got up to all sorts of exciting things ranging from putting on plays, starting a club, writing stories, playing games and just all round being silly and enjoying themselves. They aren’t in a rush to grow up, but rather characters like Jo are always active and trying to stay young for as long as possible. Part One (Alcott’s original ending) ends on the note of Jo not wanting to change anything about her life, so that things could just stay exactly the way they were right then. Honestly I wish life was as simple as that too. I would have much preferred it if the novel had just ended with Part One and the girls and Laurie didn’t have to endure all the hardships that they did in the following part of the novel. But that’s life, I guess. We have to grow up at some point, whether we like it or not. Life didn’t exactly take the March sisters to the palaces they were expecting but nonetheless it was a life worth living it.

 

10. Hard times call for strength and courage.

This lesson can pretty much be found anywhere in the book. But the place that really springs to mind for me is the first few chapters at the start. The girls have the bear the hard times when money is tight and their father is away fighting in the war. Through perseverance and genuine good-will in giving to others, the girls are able to overcome their difficulties. It just goes to show how easy it is to forget our own problems when we focus our minds on helping those less fortunate than ourselves instead of just wallowing in our own self pity. 

 

11. Friends won’t always be there for you when you need them.

Amy’s art class and the girl who snitched on her. Enough said. Fake friends will back-stab you all the time, especially immature high school friends. I think it’s important to remember that people aren’t always what they seem to be. But you should be grateful and appreciate the ones who are there for you. Although Amy wasn’t my favourite character at times, I will always admire her for how she showed kindness even to her enemies. 

 

12. Opposites attract.

One of the reasons Marmee disapproves of Jo and Laurie as a match is because she claims they are too similar. (I love Marmee in every way, but when it comes to this – I honestly don’t see it, I think their personalities complement each other really well, but who am I to judge?) We can still glean a vital life lesson from this when it comes to relationships – opposites do attract. I do think Mr Bhaer’s personality (despite the huge age gap) does suit Jo because it is opposite in some way whilst still reflecting similar parts to her. Laurie and Amy’s relationship is rather too opposite, in my opinion, I don’t think Amy understands Laurie and has the same chemistry as Jo did with him, but I’ll leave that up to you to decide!

 

13. Perfectionism is the worst.

This is one thing I sadly relate to myself very dearly. There’s a moment in the book when all of Jo’s hard work and ideas bursts up in flames (literally) and all of it is lost. In a time, where there were no save buttons or restored files, but instead her manuscript had to be carefully handwritten using ink and paper, this would have been extremely antagonizing. Of course Jo was extremely angry at first. I can understand the struggle of coming to terms with the fact that what you have lost is something you can never, ever get back to exactly how it was, no matter how you try or how perfect it was before. I can understand the nagging ‘What ifs’ that linger at the back of my mind, imagining scenarios of ‘if you hadn’t done that one thing’ that disaster could have been avoided. But Jo managed to push through it and create something even better. I think it just goes to show that loss may not always be such a bad thing either. It might not be perfectly the same as it was before, but it might even be just that little bit better because you had to redo it. Maybe you won’t remember every little detail of how it was before, but maybe you needed to be set back in order to be set forward. The same theme applies to all the other March sisters. Just like how Meg gets all perfectionistic about her failed jam-making attempts, or how Amy idealised her art party with her friends, life doesn’t always go the way we planned it to. But there is beauty hidden somewhere in that imperfection. I think that’s a really crucial one for all us broken perfectionists to learn.

 

14. Family is the most important thing!

Finally, one of the most important themes in the entire novel is family ties. There are so many instances when the girls support each other through thick and thin. One of my favourites would have to be the way Jo selflessly wishes to take Beth to the seaside to get better, or the time Jo cuts off her hair to spare some money for her sick father. Even at the hardest of times when Amy got on Jo’s nerves (and frankly mine too), the bonds of sisterhood remained as strong as ever. The book teaches us that even when there is major drama and arguments, life or death situations bring the sisters closer together and allow them to forgive each other when they did wrong by one another. Forgiveness is a powerful tool to maintaining a healthy family unit and is something we can also apply to our everyday lives too.

And so there you have it: 14 life lessons I learnt from ‘Little Women.’ If you haven’t already,  read this beautifully crafted book because, even though I absolutely loved Greta Gerwig’s adaptation (probably one of the best adaptations of a book I’ve seen yet), there are still so many treasures of wisdom hidden inside this book got left out in the film that are worth experiencing for yourself. There are so many little moments I could have picked out for this article and so many that I had to leave out for the sake of not spoiling it for you. Read it first and then you can watch the film afterwards because as I said earlier it was truly spectacular. I think Greta Gerwig did an excellent job at recreating it, the cast were perfectly suited for their roles, the cinematography was incredible and I genuinely did enjoy sobbing my heart out in the cinema when I saw my favorite characters come to life. 

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