Day 1 (DENIAL): You honestly feel fine. “This won’t affect me at all”, you say, “I am too focused on women to care about a man – even one who I loved and was perhaps obsessed with. This will go swimmingly! Just you watch.”
Day 2 (EMOTIONAL VOMIT): You were wrong. To your disbelief, you actually were emotionally invested in your serious boyfriend that you cut loose. This is a disaster. To your horror, you are experiencing intense emotions. And worse yet, telling people about them. And even worse than this, you find yourself putting these feelings from pen to paper in a letter (16 pages of paper, to be exact). With welted eyes, you hand it to the woman at the post office. “What’s wrong, my lovely”, she inquires. “I can’t do a backflip”, you cry.
Day 3 (BLIND HATRED): He could never do a backflip. Who the hell did he think he was anyway?
Day 4 (ACCEPTANCE): It wasn’t working and you’re not together for the best. After all, you did end it for a reason, and more than one at that. You begin to find much more appreciation for what you do still have: you are hot and have good friends, a loving family, oh, and you’re really hot.
Day 5 (RESURGENCE): You looked so hot together, it was ridiculous. You can’t believe that he is even allowed to live a quiet (miserable) life when he’s the hottest person alive. How is he not famous for being so hot? All you want to do is kiss him (on the mouth).
Day 6 (BLIND HATRED p2): He is an idiot and you were, you are, better…and the whole world will know it! You will continue to talk about this until you are bored of speaking about it, and that will help you to get over this.
Day 7 (REASONING): There were aspects of him you admired. You can look back at the relationship fondly and upon reflection, consider him to be a good person. You are on your journey and he is on his. Never the two shall twine again!
Day 8 (PINING): You plan to kiss him (on the mouth) in summer. In fact, you think it would be funny. Yes! Everyone will laugh. If anything, it would be rude if you didn’t. You think it’ll be interesting. You can. You must. You will.
Day 9 (SANITY): You are not going to kiss him in summer. People will laugh (at you [you don’t want that]).
Day 10 (REBOUND): Expect a similar article in 6/7 months time.