Alcohol and university undeniably go hand in hand. According to a recent study, 81% of students believe that drinking is part of university culture, so it is no wonder why it’s such a challenge to be tee-total at uni.
My relationship with alcohol has undertaken a tumultuous journey. With drinking being so engrained in UK culture, alcohol has impacted me from a young age. But overtime, I have had to accept that I just don’t like alcohol that much.
I first realised that alcohol was not a companion that I wanted to keep around forever when I was in upper sixth. I hadn’t even considered the option of sobriety. Nobody wants to be the only sober friend, (drunk people can be really annoying). Yet, there was one girl I knew who chose not to drink and I admired her, but I didn’t understand.
It’s not that I used to feel peer pressured – that’s a loaded phrase – but there was definitely a sense of guilt that emerged with every “no thanks” or “I’m good”, in response to drink offerings. However, on my 18th birthday, a conversation with my only sober friend changed my viewpoint and offered some clarity to my sober curiosity.
“How do you do it?”
“Do what?”
“Not drink.”
Started the conversation, ironically at a wine bar. She asked if I enjoyed drinking. I responded in the negative. Flipping the role of questioner and answerer, I think she asked me: “then how do you do it?”
“Do what?”
“Drink.”
The conversation lasted only a few minutes over a bowl of pitted olives, whilst our friends ordered another bottle. In that short time, I came to terms with the fact that you actually don’t HAVE to drink. It sounds simple, but I’d never fully comprehended it.
Two weeks later, it was freshers’ week. Making introductions, going out, opening a bottle.
“No thanks, I don’t really drink.”
In that week, integral to the university life, I didn’t drink one glass of supermarket £5 wine, I didn’t make one rum-lime-and-whatever-mixer-is-available concoction, I didn’t neck one shot, and I felt great.
This isn’t sobriety propaganda, I’m just one of many university students exploring sober curiosity. New research shows that an increasing 21% of 16-24 year-olds don’t drink any alcohol at all, with over 800,000 sober students studying across the UK.
I think there is a synergetic alliance too, between pressures to drink and pressures to be extroverted at university. With student nights every night, flat parties, clubbing, and exploring a new city, being introverted can feel just as tough as being sober.
Grappling with the amalgamation of being content with bake off and a cup of tea at 7pm on a Friday night, and the FOMO that comes with watching your friends’ stories, drinks in hand at a rave in Brixton, can be really difficult. Navigating the balance between protecting your energy, but also feeling like you should be out and living life to the fullest, is a struggle that is parallel with the decision, to drink, or not to drink.
My advice: do what makes you feel the best. If you are sober curious, try it out. I’ve found that clubbing sober is honestly a really pleasant experience with the right people. While there is definitely a sense of pressure to go out and conform with the expectations of what it means to be extroverted, I promise that forcing yourself out the door is not worth the burnout later.