Book Rating: 4.7/5
“Save your tears for when your mother dies” Michelle Zauner tells herself in her memoir titled ‘Crying in H Mart’; a heartbreaking memoir about love, grief, anxiety and the many flavours that food brings through all the chaos that lies within life. The Indie-Pop sensation and founder of the band Japanese Breakfast, the Korean-American details her life growing up with a Korean mother, the cultural differences they both have and their shared love for Korean food that binds them together all while dealing with her mother’s heartbreaking diagnosis of cancer. “When I go to H Mart, I’m not just on the hunt for cuttlefish and three bunches of scallions for a buck: I’m searching for memories. I’m collecting the evidence that the Korean half of my identity didn’t die when they did.” Michelle writes about having to grow up as an only child and constantly being in battle with herself in terms of her identity and how she felt less Korean due to her inability to speak the language and cook Korean comfort food for her ill mother.
Part of the book explores Chongmi’s (Michelle’s Mother) relationship with vanity and how that is stripped away by her balding due to chemotherapy. Reading this book brought back memories of my own childhood. I too, was raised by my mother who was also diagnosed with cancer, the only difference was that she survived. Michelle writes about how she felt defeated by her mother’s loss, that she wasn’t able to do more for her while she was alive and the regret that comes with it. There were many parts of the book that felt very emotional to me, not just as a reader, but as a daughter whose mother went through a similar journey despite having different outcomes. It gave me a sense of appreciation and gratitude, but at the same time receiving another perspective that involves a different outcome in fighting an illness that takes so many loved ones away. Overall, it’s a great book and a must-read for anyone whose had a loved one that has battled or is battling cancer.