I made a point of getting to know a lot of people during my first year of college. I made coffee dates with hallmates and stuck with the people in my FrOG group. I thought these people were going to be “my people”….or my own personal version of the “Friends” TV show. I had my Ross, Monica, Rachel and the works. I had everything figured out, or at least I thought.
Now I am almost a month into my sophomore year of college and I’m realizing that some of my picture perfect friends I made in the past year have changed, but more importantly so have I. I used to change my plans left and right so I could spend time with these people, for fear of losing out on fun times and losing the interest of my friend group. I wanted to be there for all the lunch and dinner dates, the crazy car rides and everything in between. I was chasing after these people but they weren’t chasing after me. I would do everything I could to get the approval and laughs, but struggled to get any of that attention pointed in my direction.
What I’m trying to get at here is that friendships fade, and that is 100 percent okay. You aren’t going to “mesh” with the same people every year of your college career, although we like to think that could happen. People change as the season’s change, and you might find yourself with a new group of friends and a handful of old ones. The most important part of any relationship, whether it be a significant other or a friend, is trust. Friendships are built on this and they can most certainly be broken by it as well. You have to surround yourself with people who are constantly building you up, making an effort to see you and enjoying your company.
This quote from one of my favorite movies, My Best Friend’s Wedding, puts it in perspective: “ Who’s chasing you? No one, right? There’s your answer.” In this case, it’s about someone that character loves but it can work in this sense as well. Surround yourself with people who will chase after you! Don’t spend your time with people who wouldn’t do the same for you. There has to be a sort of balance… otherwise, you will feel like you are forever trying to live up to someone else’s expectations. Bottom line is you have to do what’s best for you and let that be mirrored in your expectations for future relationships with others.