As of writing this, I am a little over a week from my twentieth birthday. When this is published, however, I will be celebrating my twentieth birthday, which is an insane thing to wrap my head around. I wanted to do something to commemorate turning 20, and when I listened to an old episode of the Gilmore To Say podcast (which I highly recommend), I realized what I needed to do.
For the 23rd anniversary of Gilmore Girls, the hosts of the podcast Tara and Haley made a list of the 23 life lessons they learned from Gilmore Girls. Since the show has been a very real cornerstone of my personality since, like, middle school, I knew I had to make my own version of the life lessons list. After rewatching some of my favorite episodes, looking through Tara and Haley’s list, and browsing some other Gilmore Girls-themed corners of the internet, I think I’ve found the 20 life lessons that I learned from Gilmore Girls.
- Your Personality is Too Big to Hide Under the Floorboards
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Those who have seen the show know that Lane Kim is notorious for hiding her personality and lifestyle under the floorboards of her room, away from her disapproving mother. Now, my floorboards are metaphorical (my room had carpet), but the sentiment still holds true. Trying to tuck away parts of my personality in dark corners wasn’t productive, but I worried that people wouldn’t like me anymore when they found those interests that I had hidden. But really, who would want to be friends with someone if they didn’t love them for all their interests? Being open about my interests and my personality has made me so much happier, and those “floorboards” are long forgotten.
- Invite People Over For Food
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My first night of college I turned on the Gilmore Girls episode “The Lorelai’s First Day at Yale” to try grounding myself in a new environment while I unpacked. In the episode, Lorelai orders a ton of takeout and invites all the girls on Rory’s floor over to have some, which prompts this really fun party. Not too long after that, I asked my roommate and some other girls on my floor if they wanted to get brunch, and they said yes. Some of my favorite get-togethers have been potlucks at my apartment where everyone shares food and plays games. Everyone has to eat, so it’s the best way to bring people together!
- One Rejection Won’t Kill You (Unless You’re Rory)
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Rory’s fall from grace after Mitchum Huntzberger rejects her is the worst kind of iconic. What I took away from this spiral was that one rejection won’t kill you, but how you react to it might. Rory was justified in feeling lost after an industry giant told her that she didn’t have it. However, instead of taking a beat to feel sad and then pulling herself together to prove them wrong, she stole a yacht. Watching this showed me that how you take things can be detrimental your reputation, so always step back and breathe before reacting. You can always prove someone wrong, and you don’t have to commit a felony to do so.
- Coffee is Always a Good Idea, No Matter the Time
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Look, I am that type of person who always has a cup of coffee in her hand regardless of the hour. It could be 10 or 11 P.M. and you will see me putting a K-Pod into my coffee machine because I want a sweet drink. I don’t know if I even feel the caffeine anymore, but that’s a problem for later …
- Sometimes, a Balanced Meal Really is Pop-Tarts and an Apple
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Somewhere, my doctor just freaked out. But honestly, I’m right (don’t kill me!). In the mornings, things can get really rushed, and I will often forgo breakfast because “It’ll just be a Pop-Tart anyway.” I had to learn that as long as I was eating (and I was making sure that it didn’t become a daily habit), a Pop-Tart was fine. And you know what, sometimes the best breakfasts are strawberry milkshake Pop-Tarts, an apple, and my coffee!
- Movie Nights are Always a Good Option
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My favorite thing that has come out of this year and this semester is my movie nights. I’ve become such a movie person in college out of boredom and the local theater offering $5 student tickets. I love either going to the theater or showing a film in my apartment with friends; there’s no better way to spend an evening!
- Crafting is Such a Good Stress-Reliever
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A lot of these lessons I learned from Paris Geller, a fellow anxious perfectionist. And she was right, sometime the best way to channel that anxious energy is to create something with it. I crochet, knit, and paint nails, and sometimes hyper-focusing on your art really does help relieve your stress.
- Therapy Really is Important
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Once again, I find myself relating to Paris. I wasn’t ever averse to therapy per se, but I never could find the time to slot it in. Coming into my sophomore year though, I realized that I really did need to be in therapy, just because I needed someone to talk to. Therapy works wonders, and I highly recommend it to everyone.
- “The Guy” Wasn’t Really “The Guy”
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Yeah … it sucks when you pin your hopes on someone (or the idea of someone) and it doesn’t pan out. But, if it doesn’t pan out, you have to remember that if it was meant to be it would be. And if it doesn’t, then “the guy” isn’t really “the guy.”
- Be That Person. Carry a Book With You Everywhere.
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Coming to college, it was a lot harder to squeeze in time to read. I went from having so much time to read in high school to virtually no time in college, and it broke my heart. So, I started carrying a book around with me everywhere. If I had time before a lecture, on the bus, or in the dining hall, I would pull out my book or pull up a book on my phone. This made it easier to find times to read — I just had to carve out the niche spaces to do so and trade Instagram scrolling for a few pages of a book!
- People Might Not Understand When You Talk Fast. Keep Doing it.
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I am notorious for talking fast, to the point where I’ve been compared to Animal Crossing characters because of it. But slowing down my naturally fast cadence is super difficult, and I eventually gave up at trying to slow down. I’ve learned that the right people won’t care that you sometimes talk a mile a minute, and will eventually learn to keep up with and understand your fast cadence.
- Having the Right Song for the Right Occasion is Important
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A playlist really can make or break your mood. I wrote about it during the election, I wrote about it for studying; it really does just change your mindset. When you have a song that can make you smile, a song that can cheer you up, a crying song, etc., it can change how your day starts, goes, and ends.
- “People Can Live for a Hundred Years Without Living for a Minute.”
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This is probably one of the most famous quotes from the show, just behind “In Omnia Paratus.” It’s so important to realize that while yes, you are technically living just by existing, if you’re not making the most out of things you aren’t truly living.This has prompted me to really look at if I was truly living my life, and I’ve since taken every opportunity I could to make sure that I was.
- “Who Cares if I’m Pretty if I Fail My Finals?”
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I try not to relate to Rory, but in this case I understand her deeply. I don’t hold this one in truly serious regard, but it’s a funny motivator for when I don’t feel like studying but have to.
- “This Adult Stuff is Hard, Isn’t it?”
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College kind of feels like baby adulthood, and it’s definitely not easy. Going from a very structured high school life to having little structure and being tasked with building your own structure was a struggle to say the least. I figured it out, and truthfully am still figuring it out, but it’s always a good reminder that being an adult is difficult for everyone, no matter how long they’ve been doing it.
- No Cell Phones
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No joke, I have the infamous “No Cell Phones” sign from Luke’s Diner hanging in my bedroom. When I was younger, I thought that “No Cell Phones” was crazy, and that you couldn’t do anything without your phone. However, as I’ve gotten older, I’ve noticed that some of my favorite moments have occurred when my phone was off. So, maybe Luke was onto something by forcing people to put their phones away and talk.
- “We’re Almost There and Nowhere Near it, All That Matters is That We’re Going.”
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I love this quote because it sums up college pretty neatly in my opinion. College is the weird in-between where you feel so close to adulthood and your dream job, yet nowhere near it at the same time. But again, what matters is that you’re on track, that you’re going, and that you will get there.
- Â Your Found Family Can Be Just as Important as Your Blood Family
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This one is easy. My friends have become my family, and I can’t picture myself without them anymore. I’ve met amazing people in my clubs, and now they’re like a second family!
-  “Nobody’s Stopping You From Making Whatever You Want Happen”
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Logan Huntzberger, I don’t like you, but you’ve said some stellar things. The best things in my life have happened because I realized that if I wanted it so bad, I could just go for it. At the end of the day, the only person who truly stops you and holds you back is yourself, and when you let go of that you can do some truly amazing things.
-  At the End of the Day, You’ll Always Have Your Mom (and Your Dad)
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This is sappy, but why not? My parents joke that sometimes it’s like I never moved out because I’m always on the phone or on FaceTime with one of them. But all jokes aside, they’ve always picked up the phone when I called, even if it was just me rambling about how it got cold outside and I hated it because it ruined my outfit planning. I’m lucky to have such great people to fall back on, and getting older hasn’t changed that at all.
So, happy birthday baby! And cheers to everyone entering this new stage of adulthood as well. I hope for all of us that it’s filled with good coffee, talking fast, and at least one or two great books.