There’s a saying that goes “If you love something let it go. If it comes back, it was yours. If it doesn’t, it was never really yours to begin with.” So why is it that as young, beautiful, smart women we sometimes have so much trouble letting go of our summer romances?
I’ve seen it time and time again with many of my friends and even my darling little sister having a boyfriend at home. It’s often tough to decide whether or not you should take the plunge and try to hang on to what you have or just let that hot summer love fade like a vacation tan line. After all, not every relationship is the same.
So as summer quickly draws to an end and we pack our bags to head back to school, think about what YOU want out of your relationship while you’re away and make sure you’re positive that the person you’re with can provide that for you!
The Younger Guy
Okay so I admit it, I have been guilty of the “younger guy syndrome.” As many of us have experienced after our freshmen year of college, our hometown becomes a pretty dull place to be! Therefore, we often try to spice it up by going for a guy from a different graduating class. Eventually you may start to notice that the guy a year or two younger than you has grown up and you might even think about starting something up with him.
But take it from me ladies, STEER CLEAR! Younger boys, while adorable and adventurous are ultimately going to end up hurting you. They aren’t always capable of the commitment you might be looking for. Plus, they are getting ready to enter their freshmen years of college so they definitely are going to want to have the freshman-year-single-guy experience that they’ve always dreamed about since the first time they watched the movie “Animal House”. When it comes down to that August deadline, I would definitely suggest letting it go!
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The Older Guy
When it comes to older guys in college, it is quite frequent that the girl is going to be the one breaking hearts. As we enter our late teens and early 20s, we aren’t often looking for a long-term relationship or anyone who seems like serious marriage material. Let’s face it, most of us are just trying to have fun and see who’s out there. Many guys over the age of 22 actually might be looking to have more than just fun. So often I have seen girls casually trying to date guys who are a couple of years their senior and basically be stalked because these guy are way more serious than the girl. This is especially apparent when the guy is out of college and in the “real world” while the girl is still having fun and living her crazy college life. You only have four years – live it up!
The Guy You Always Had a Thing For
You remember that guy; the one that used to walk down the hallway in high school and make your heart beat just a little bit faster. So sometimes it’s unbelievable to you when you go home for the summer and he seems to be giving you the attention you had always hoped he’d give you. There are a couple of different ways this could turn out:
1. Sometimes high school guys don’t know what is in front of them until it isn’t there anymore. If he’s making an effort and you’ve been dating consistently all summer and you feel in your heart that he can be committed while you’re apart, then congratulations, you’ve found what so many young girls have been looking for!
2. Unlike scenario A, sometimes, while your crush may very well like you a lot, it might just be a summer fling and at the end of the summer you have to do just that: fling! And while it doesn’t discount what you two had all summer, it’s better to know before heading back to school that it’s not going to last instead of getting heartbroken while you’re far away and not able to experience any real closure.
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The High School Sweetheart
Many have fallen victim to the “staying with your high school boyfriend in college” situation. Whether you’re both leaving or just one of you, it gets really difficult for both the guy and the girl to decide what’s right for their relationship at the time. Does distance make the heart grow fonder? Or is out of sight, out of mind the more appropriate way to describe it? Every situation is different.
From my own experience, when my high school boyfriend was leaving for college, I basically bolted. Always having to wonder what he was doing or if he still cared was too much for me to bear. But then there are those super human couples, which seem to always have it figured out and always come home more in love than the last time. When it comes down to it, it’s not anyone else’s decision, it’s not anyone else’s broken hearted advice you have to listen to. At the end of the day the only two people who can decide about the relationship are the two people who are in therelationship.
The Boyfriend at the Same School
I have an 18-year-old sister who is about to start her freshman year at theUniversity of Connecticut. But that’s not all; so is her boyfriend. They weren’t dating when they both made the decision to attend UConn, but when they started to, it begged the question, “will we stay together?” Couples who go to the same colleges are faced with the most honest question ever, “do I really like this person enough to be in a committed relationship from the get-go?” Sure, in high school you date someone within your bubble of a town, but when you go to college and are suddenly surrounded with all new people, will you still feel the same way about your significant other? If the answer is no, you probably should break it off as soon as you realize it to avoid the awkwardness that could ensue later on. If the answer is yes, then you should definitely give it a shot! WARNING: make your own friends separate from you and your boy’s crowd. This will ensure that you have a support system if anything were to go wrong!
Of course no relationship is the same as another and there are exceptions to every rule. Just remember to make sure that you do what makes you and your significant other happy so that you can have fun with them but also get on with your life at school too! Remember, college only happens once so don’t let it pass you by!