1. The Buildup. “I’ve waited for this for 365 days. This is what I’m here for.”
2. The Survey. “Aunt Jenny came through with the sweet potato casserole. Oh, are those real cranberries?”
3. The Strategy. “If I want that dinner roll, I’m going to have to fist fight my cousin while simultaneously distracting my mom so I can grab those mashed potatoes. Am I willing to do that? Yes. Sacrifices are necessary.”
4. The First Round. “Am I overestimating my stomach’s capacity? No. Must get more.”
5. The Pause. “I should take a moment to appreciate the fact that my brother and I haven’t fought…yet.”
6. The Second Round. “I am strong. I can do this.”
7. The Regret. “It’s fine. Everything is fine. I am sweating, yes, but it’s okay. Please don’t look at me. No, grandma, I am not a pretty girl right now.”
8. The Comeback. “I mean, I guess a piece of pie is fine. But like, just a little piece.”