Freshman year of college is beyond stressful. Leaving your family for the first time is hard, but that’s what roommates are for! If you’re anything like me, you came into college hoping your roommate was going to be your new best friend. Throughout the summer all you could think about was lunch dates, inside jokes and, of course, raiding her closet.
However, we don’t want to think about the possibility we won’t get along. What if she doesn’t clean up after herself? What if she leaves her clothes everywhere? Or what if she uses your stuff without permission? These issues can break a roommate relationship. If you are in the unfortunate situation of having a roommate who’s dirty, uncommunicative or lazy, here are some survival strategies for resolving major issues.
create a lot of stress. However, planning on speaking to her about the issue is twice as stressful. You don’t want to get back from class and wonder if she is going to do something today that will piss you off.
Although “the talk” is frustrating, scary and kind of awkward, it will be the best thing for your relationship. You must confront your roommate about the issues you have, and discuss how to resolve them.
It is important to keep in mind that you do not come off in an attacking manner. If you do, your roommate will not only ignore what you’re saying, but she will also go straight into defense mode. All you have to do is let her know that there are a couple ofthings on your mind that you would like to talk about, and then find a solution together.
Compromise
Now that you both have spoken, you must come to an understanding of what is “acceptable”and what is not. If her loud friends are the problem, set some basic ground rules.At night when you have that dreaded 8 a.m., friends are not allowed over. However,some other days, it would be nice if you went to the library to study so she can hang out with her friends at your place. In order to have a successful compromise, you must ask yourself how you both can get what you need without hurting the other person.
When you have “the talk” with your roommate, you’re going to be looking for results immediately.Unfortunately, you will have to give her some time in order to show you whether or not she has listened to your requests. Stay cool, calm and collected. There will be times that your patience will be tested, but show your roommate that as long as she respects you and your wishes, you will happily do the same.
Plan for the Future
Remember to communicate! If you feel tension building between you and your roommate or you become frustrated over something, talk it out as soon as the problem arises. Keeping it bottled up will only create more uneasiness in the room and more stress on you. Let her know with a simple, “I’m not too comfortable with…” and give her a chance to fix it, instead of becoming agitated right away.
Dealing with a college roommate most definitely has its ups and downs. Wanting the TV on versus preferring silence are little things that prepare you for the future. No two people are alike, and all of our desires are different. We must learn to communicate, compromise and build relationships with the people that could turn out to be our best friends.