By now, we’ve all heard about the concept of the ‘performative male’ and hopefully have gotten to see the competitions that campuses have about who is the most performative. Clairo, tote bags, and feminist literature are freakishly abundant; the uniform for these events is so obnoxious… and so representative.
But what is a performative male? And what does it mean to be one?
Well, honestly, I can’t tell you where it first started or who coined the phrase. I can tell you that it emerged from the belief that men create personas to exist within traditionally feminine spheres. That name drop of Sylvia Plath and the obsessive matcha drinking are meant to attract women and make them appear different from the ‘normal’ man. The concept that the performative male was really just a male manipulator in disguise.
Post after post about the caricature that men put on to make women feel more at ease. The carrying of a Sally Rooney book or the Labubu tied to a tote bag was supposed to mark a man as progressive and safe. It was just another trend for men to participate in to make the female population feel more attracted to them.
I think this is a valid critique of the archetype, but is there something further? When does this go from a critique of performative behavior to a reinforcement of gender stereotypes?
How do we create a boundary between putting on a facade and faking it, and just someone who is simply stepping outside of gender roles?
I think that there is a split of people who get categorized as a ‘performative male.’ Those who are truly just wearing beliefs like a hat, and those who get shunned into the category for acting untraditionally.
The former category, the real performative males, are the ones to be wary of. They step outside of traditional gender stereotypes to endear themselves to women, co-opting the aesthetic intellectualism to take advantage. There is no real belief in women’s rights or any of the progressive beliefs that they preach, making them really just men in positions of power again. They can weaponize the attraction and safety.
However, the latter category, the section of people who truly just exist outside of the norm, are just people. Yes, they might wear corded headphones and listen to vinyl records, but that may just be their personality or their expression. The sincere nonconformity is just a part of their life and they are now being put in a category with people who stand for the opposite.
There’s no reason to label having hobbies (like reading Pride and Prejudice) as performative. The performative aspect of something only comes into play when it’s entirely for drawing attention to the action. To lure people in and create a sense of connection. There are plenty of people out there who will put on a mask to get laid; that’s not in question. But by labeling this new subsection of men as performative, we are reinforcing the assumption that the only men who should be around are the hyper-masculine ones.
If we are constantly separating people into categories, as Gen Z so frequently does, the reinforcement of gender roles is on us. We cannot claim to be the most progressive generation when we categorize any attempt at gender nonconformity to be insincere.
There is a limit to categorization and we need to be wary of sectioning people based on stereotyping. This labeling of people has been repeated throughout history, whether hipster or hippie, and has been harmful to those minorities or those caught in the crossfire.
Queer culture is getting wrapped up in the stereotype. The comparison of the performative male uniform to the stereotypical ‘masc lesbian’ uniform is harmful, as they get caught in the butt of the joke. How long is it before we come back to saying “That’s so gay!” in response to something even slightly effeminate? It’s making queer people the collateral damage in a supposed critique about straight men.
As we move away from toxic masculinity, we must be careful about swinging too far in the other direction and hating on the more traditionally feminine characteristics that men might showcase. Otherwise, we risk enforcing that the only masculinity that should be present is the hardcore macho man personality. If we don’t want a world of Mojo Dojo Casa House Kens, then we can’t demonize the so-called performative traits.
Whatever effects this trend may have, the contests are pretty entertaining. Throwing tampons into the crowd will always make me giggle and the rare guitar solo will never not be funny. But please, just think before making comments about other people’s lives and activities. They might not be as performative as you want them to be, especially if they’re just drinking coffee and listening to Laufey.