Excuse me… What? You heard correctly, let’s talk about sex in college. It’s important that the consequences or effects that sex can have on your emotional, physical, and mental psyches is something worth addressing. “Well, but wait. I thought because I’m an adult… it’s ok to have sex.” You’re right, it totally is. But there are definitely a few things we should remind ourselves of before engaging.
This is stuff we already know, but sometimes forget. Sex is kind of a big deal. Actually, it IS a big deal. College culture makes it seem like it’s not, and sometimes it doesn’t feel like it, but it really should mean more than a lot of us give it credit for.
Relationships—Just because you’re in a relationship DOES NOT mean you have to have sex.
Friends With Benefits
Define the benefits first. It’s usually pretty straightforward, but if you have expectations, you better speak up to make sure they’re met.
The One-Night-Stand
No judgment, but make sure you’re making the decision when alcohol isn’t involved. You’re likely to make choices based on lack of inhibitions and while it can feel “fun and freeing” in the moment, it can really make you question life choices in the morning.
And the “What the heck are we?”
This is always tricky. Because it usually starts off as one thing and is turning into something else, it’s always a good thing to DTR.
Exclusive (with or without a title)
BE ON THE SAME PAGE WITH THIS. Know exactly what you both want, but you don’t always need a label for it.
Alright, alright. That was the easy stuff. Now, we delve into the “un-thought of stuff.”
When was the last time you were tested?
If you’re not comfortable having this conversation, you probably shouldn’t be having sex with that person. It’s extremely important to know your sexual partners BEFORE you start getting it on. The BEST way to protect your health from STD’s is by using a condom. Not all “issues” show symptoms. You need to be proactive and preventative about this.
Protection
At this age probably the last thing you want to think about are the chances of becoming pregnant. There are SOOOO many forms of birth control and you HAVE to research them and ask questions (if you don’t have a form that works for you) so that you can give your body the best love and care possible. GIRLS YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR OWN PROTECTION.
Emotions
This is probably the most important part. Mental and emotional health is just as important—if not MORE—as your physical health. If you’re entering a relationship, any of the sort, know what you’re doing. Understand that feelings just happen, and you might catch “The Feels.” If this happens, it’s not necessarily a bad thing but it can make it difficult if the feelings aren’t mutual or do not develop at the same rate. You should also TRUST your partner. Without trust, you’re bound to end up hurt or somehow screwed over.
Sex is a quick way to get hurt if you’re not on the same page as your partner. It’s important to know that your age does not determine whether or not you are an adult, your decisions do.
Making informed decisions, by gathering information and trusting your instincts, will allow you to have fun and do what YOU WANT TO DO, without the pressure from others. TRUST yourself in what you feel because we’re given instincts for a reason.
“Don’t be a fool, wrap your tool.” “Wrap that before you tap that.” “No glove, no love.”
I think you get the idea.
Remember most of all: Safe sex is the best sex!