I began my second semester at JMU with a Tinder account. I was tired of seeing cute guys around campus with no excuse to talk to them. Tinder was my way in.
I went on a few dates— nothing serious came of it. I started to see the true colors of Tinder and the boys who inhabit it. Notice, I said boys. So, I deleted it after a few months and dates and went back to my normal life.
I started my third semester at JMU with Bumble, an attempt to reconcile with my goals of finding a man. Bumble seems like a great idea. When you match with someone, women have 24 hours to send a message, and if they choose not to, they disappear. Bumble made me realize that I’m no good at initiating things.
Something I learned through my time on Bumble is that there are just as many guys only DTF as on Tinder, they just hide behind a nice guy facade, which in my opinion is way more dangerous. I can’t tell you how many nice conversations I was having that ended with “send pics?” or “want to come over now? ;)” *sent at 2 a.m.*
Over time, that can be pretty disheartening. I started to realize that I went on five times as many coffee/lunch dates from Tinder than Bumble. So, last weekend I recreated my Tinder account. I already regret it.
1. Tinder takes time.
Tinder isn’t something that takes care of itself. You’re only going to match with the people you swipe right on. Since there are those inevitable flops, the more you match and talk with, the better chance you have of meeting someone special.
As Final’s week approaches, work is building up and yet, I spend my time on a dating app.
2. Tinder makes you vulnerable.
In order to really get something out of this, you have to put yourself out there. Don’t be afraid to swipe right, make the first move, and go on a date.
With this, there’s always the chance that the guy is a tool. Or worse. Just as I experienced on Bumble, those kinds of guys are everywhere. You’re probably going to get burned a few times, but that’s basically what dating is anyways. You win some, you lose some.
3. Timing is everything.
It’s usually around this time where I realize that I’ve wasted another semester of college without a personal life and boyfriend. The semester starts to wrap up and that’s when I decide it’s time to make my move.
By doing this, I’m setting myself up for failure. I also have a taste for older men, typically seniors, and after a few messages, Snapchats, and possibly dates, it’s time for them to graduate.
Dating in college needs to be strategic, or at least when you’re starting out. You have to have time spent together before parting ways to know if it’s something worth pursuing.
So yes, I regret recreating my Tinder account. Not because I don’t want a relationship or because Tinder is bad, but because it’s not always the right choice for everyone or at all times.
I haven’t decided what I’ll do. Maybe I’ll keep it going for a bit longer, who knows, but I wish I would have thought about it more before giving in to the loneliness.