The holidays can be a difficult time of the year when you’ve been single for years and surprise, are still single.
Chances are if you haven’t experienced these never-ending questions and prodding into your personal life, you’ll have to eventually. As a professional at dodging those inquisitive aunts and uncles, I’m here to tell you how to navigate family functions when you’re going stag.
For awhile I was safe. I was the youngest of my cousins and while they were getting married and having children, the older generation held onto my baby status in the family. Now that I’m well into my college career, they expect to hear about my handsome and intelligent boyfriend. Well, unfortunately, those aren’t as easy to come by as one might think.
Over the past few years I’ve had to learn how to weasel my way out of uncomfortable conversations― and here are some of my tips.
1. You can direct the conversation towards how busy you are with your studies, but that could spell trouble.
Many of these conversations force you into a corner. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve made the mistake of centering my personal life around classes, grades and extracurriculars in small talk. You might think that this could be a good diversion, but in my experience, this just usually propels the conversation into a life lesson.
You know, you can’t push every good guy away. You’ll have time to work hard the rest of your life. You’re in your prime, this is when you should be on the hunt. You’re too pretty to not have a boyfriend; you must be too driven.
Most of these lessons are ridiculous and not worth your time, but my advice? Avoid them at all cost. These comments will most likely just make you mad, and you’ll have no choice but to nod your head and hope that your sister will swoop in and direct the conversation elsewhere.
2. Don’t get defensive. This will only give the conversation fuel for further prodding.
No matter what they say, it just isn’t worth it. Remember, even if it comes out wrong or invasive, they probably just care about you and want you to be happy.
3. Do not talk about your past or unknown, and maybe untrue, conquests.
The questions will continue to pour out. The gossip will spread. Family get-togethers are similar to high school events. You always learn something new about someone and that becomes the topic of discussion until the next big gathering. Don’t let that be you.
Especially if it isn’t true, don’t talk about the “plethora of guys” you’ve gone on dates with. Tbh, I don’t know why you would want to disclose that, but just in case you feel the need to shut the conversation down this way. Please don’t.
Hold onto your privacy. You shouldn’t feel the need to defend yourself.
My final take: if a relative asks why you don’t have a boyfriend, shrug, smile and move along.
Lastly, there is nothing to feel ashamed about. Be single for as long as you want. Who cares? Well they might, but family is family and they’re made to get on our nerves from time to time.
Happy holidays! May you only have to deal with one or two awkward conversations about your love life, or lack thereof.