We like to think labels aren’t important, or at least say they aren’t, but in the back of our minds, us girls always want to know what ze heck is actually going on between us and our men. We spend all day in class labeling the human anatomy, copying down definitions from PowerPoint, writing our names over each piece of food in our pantries lest our roomies accidentally grab the wrong box of Oreos… why not carry that labeling over into our love lives?
So if you’re confused about what to call your man-friend to your family around the dinner table this holiday, look no further. We’ve got you covered on what exactly that thing you’ve got, or think you’ve got, is!
Booty Call [boo-tee kawl]
verb… with an indirect objective
1. Doesn’t talk to you more than twice a week and two of the days he does are weekends
2. Only texts you a ‘hey what’s up’ and then a ‘haha cool’ response three hours later
3. Spotting him on campus during daylight hours results in an awkward smile and wave or you behind a lush bush
Friends with Benefits [fwends wif ben-eh-fits]
sometimes a noun
1. Used mainly on late nights when you got your drunk text on… or dateless to semi-formal
2. You do not go on dinner dates with this boy, get jealous over him, or are even that good of friends with him
3. We’re talkin’ strictly sexual business
“Talking” [tawk-ing]
verb, to put it simply
1. No exclusivity has been established, but feelings and sexual benefits are present. Basically, being in a relationship, without the commitment. This is the most common stage to get stuck in. The idea that you are free to see other people if you really wanted to or leave the “relationship” at any given moment without calling it a break-up is appealing. Prevents guilt, but not heartbreak.
2. Having your cake and eating it too
3. Hardest stage to explain to other people
4. You’re most likely in this stage if you decided to read this article
Dating [day-t-ing]
preposition… into the next phase that is!
1. Talking is consistent and takes place over multiple mediums
2. He’s met your friends and now all they ask you is “wait, so is that your boyfriend?”
3. The exclusivity conversation has been had and now you’re in the twilight zone until one of you says the ‘b’ or ‘g’ word
Boyfriend [boo-fwend]
pronoun/”insert name of boyfriend here”
1. He uses the future tense like “when we get back from break we should…” or “hey, what are you doing in 2016?”
2. You don’t know what you’re doing Friday night, but it’s going to be with him
3. Someone who gives you butterflies, respects you, has your back, is serious about you, and all around the bomb dot com