In an age where everyone is a click and a tap away from connecting with someone around the world, it’s easier than ever to get wrapped in our own importance. There is endless connection and content, yet we’ve only become more individually centered. “Bean Soup Theory” is the perfect way to call this out.
Stemming from a TikTok about a high-protein bean soup to eat while on your period, the engagement in the video was filled with comments saying, “But what if I don’t like beans?”
This perfectly captures our growing inability to connect to material unless it directly relates to us. There is so much content out there for people to consume, so why would we consume something that isn’t directly for us or about us?
This mindset reflects something bigger than a comment section. Because of social media, we create a space that is perfectly tailored to us: our preferences, our likes, our wants. There is no ability to engage in conversation, even online, without centering it around ourselves. We’ve stopped thinking about collective benefits and instead just personal relevance.
Western culture has always been very individualistic, especially in recent decades. We want to stand out from the masses and be the main character. There’s not much thought given to shared experiences and collective culture. Social media has only increased this. We filter everything through our own experience, centering ourselves in something not necessarily about us.
There’s no more “general audience.” Because algorithms consistently make everything about us, content feels niche and targeted directly to us. Something that isn’t our interest or not relevant feels wrong instead of just not for us. We can’t be passive spectators; we expect to be the audience.
Conversations become self-focused, and there’s no connection, just a need to make things about us. This furthers the echochamber, and we don’t engage with perspectives outside our own. When everything has to be about us, we lose the ability to show up for anything beyond ourselves.
We aren’t just consuming content, we’re constantly evaluating how it includes us.
Instead of asking “How do I fit into this?” it’s, “How does this fit me?” And while this isn’t a completely bad thing, it can be taken to an extreme. It is so important to make spaces more inclusive for all people, but there is a need to let things exist without reshaping them to fit ourselves.
If something isn’t for you, find something else. If you don’t like bean soup, find an alternative. Value doesn’t depend on personal relevance.
It’s ok to not relate to everything you see. Not every bowl of soup is meant for us.