Dear Kara,
I have a guy friend that is great to talk to in person, but he texts and messages me on Facebook even though he has a girlfriend. He doesn’t say things that are out of line right off the bat, but the fact that he messages me in general seems a bit sketchy. I’m not interested in him and I’ve never given off vibes that I am. I have specifically told him that I don’t want to hang out one-on-one since his girlfriend doesn’t know me. WHAT DO I DO?!
-Friends with NO Benefits
Dear Friends with NO Benefits,
That’s a fairly common concern with guys that have girlfriends. How long have you been friends with him? If your friendship has started fairly recently, then he may just want to get to know you better and may not understand that he is giving off the wrong message. But, on the other hand, if you’ve known him for a long time then its possible that he may have always liked you and doesn’t know how to tell you (especially because he is technically unavailable). Either way, you need to tell him that you’re uncomfortable with the situation. It would also be a good idea to put more space between him and you, physically and figuratively, but try not to come off sounding mean when you break the news to him.
Dear Kara,
I constantly struggle with depression and negative thoughts about myself. It’s not to the point where I would actually consider hurting myself, but sometimes I do wonder what life would be like if I weren’t here. I guess my main point is that if nothing is actually wrong, then why am I so unhappy? And why am I able to fake a smile every day so that no one knows something is wrong?
-Always Doubting
Dear Always Doubting,
First of all, never doubt yourself! Without you, the world wouldn’t be exactly the same as it is now. You were born to be important to the people that love you and to do your part in making an impact on our world. It just takes some time to find your purpose, whether it is to be a police officer or for you to simply help someone smile in a moment when they thought they couldn’t. You’re never going to be perfect, no one is! But that’s because life is a beautiful mess. Keep telling yourself that everything happens for a reason and down the road life will prove that you’re right! Not everything makes sense, but life isn’t supposed to be easy, because then we wouldn’t be living. I hope it gets better for you soon!
Dear Kara,
I have never been the skinniest person, and I had been fairly confident with myself until I got to college. But at a school like JMU, seeing so many other beautiful girls is really hard. Is there a way to lose weight fast that is healthy?
-Freshman 30 and Counting…
Dear Freshman 30 and Counting,
Not everyone is built the same way, and that is OKAY! You can’t compare yourself to other girls because they are not you. There are some easy ways to change your lifestyle in order to feel healthier, and hopefully they can help you to feel better about yourself no matter your body image as well. An important thing to remember is that everything should be in moderation. Denying yourself a food that you like only makes it harder to stop when you give into the craving, hence overindulgence. Another tip is to work out with a friend. Working out with someone else holds you accountable for a) actually going to the gym, and b) making sure you are being honest with yourself about your workout intensity. Allow yourself at least a month to start seeing definitive results, so don’t feel discouraged right away! Also remember that it takes more output and less input to truly see results. Drinking plenty of water is a key part of a healthy lifestyle, and it also is a great way to test if you’re actually hungry. Check out our fitness blogs and articles for additional help and information!
Have a conflict? Need advice? Ask Kara! We’re here to help and it’s completely anonymous! Submit an email to hercampusaskkara@gmail.com and see it published in next week’s article!