We’ve all been there – Friday night, you’re out with your girls getting your Lady Gaga on, and out of nowhere, a “creeper”(a.k.a. a guy who, despite your clear expression of disinterest, continues to try and get up in your business) approaches. Whether he’s hitting on you or grinding a little too close, it can be hard to know how to get out of the situation. As a JMU girl, you always want to be nice, but this is one time you shouldn’t be.
The Touchy-Feely
This guy just can’t take the hint that you’re uninterested, and continues to get his, um, parts, way too close. Rae Swain, a sophomore media arts and design major, said she felt uncomfortable when a guy’s hands started to wander south. She was unsure what to do since she didn’t want to cause a scene. “I just held his hands for the rest of the dance and pretty much controlled where they went,” Rae said. “Taking control can help prevent a dangerous or awkward situation.”
The Uninvited Guest
This guy doesn’t seem to have any friends with him, and no one knows who invited him! Chances are…no one did. Merideth Fayman, sophomore biology major, said she had a creeper come up to her and her friends once. “This really creepy short guy just started grinding in between two of us. It was so awkward – not ok!”
This guy could be harmless; it’s fine to give him a chance. He might be trying to meet people. But if he acts sketchier as the night goes on, cut him loose. Dance with other people, grab your friends or make up a bodybuilder boyfriend. (Did you mention that he is a champion cage fighter?) The more macho this imaginary boyfriend sounds the better.
The World’s Oldest College Student
This guy is so old he seems to have his 401K all mapped out. His beard makes him look like a Zach Galifianakis clone. Oh, and that puppy he’s carrying? Fluffy is his cousin’s roommate’s girlfriend’s, and you’re pretty sure this creeper is allergic anyway.
While it might be amusing to make fun of this guy, he might also be dangerous. He might claim to live in the Village, but he definitely doesn’t. So try to avoid his side of the dance floor, and watch your drinks. Roofies are no joke!
The Facebook Friend
You added him and didn’t think anything of it, but now he’s commenting on every photo, status update, and wall post you make. He’s even commenting on inside jokes and hitting up your Facebook friends. To make things worse, every time you log on, he messages you in chat mode.
Yes, it’s always nice to see your friend count go up, but it’s time to do some serious unfriending. If he’s scaring you, change your privacy settings or notify Facebook and get your friends to be on the lookout.
The Imposed Friendship
Normally, you don’t think of girls as creepers. However, there are some out there who are so desperate for a friend that they go into stalk-mode. You met her once at a Sunchase party and found out that you both are on the dance team and love Nutella –it seemed like a great match. That is, until she texted you eight times wanting to make dinner plans and wondering when you would see “The Help” together.
Kelsey DeFord, a sophomore nursing major, currently has an over-anxious friend. She said the hardest part is being straightforward without being rude. “You have to literally stand there and tell her she needs to back off,” she said.
Give the friend-creep the benefit of the doubt at first, but if she starts showing up in front of your door every night, break the news that if she wants to be your friend, she needs to tone it down. Face-to-face talks work best. This creeper only responds to firmness, but there’s no need to be mean!
As a sensible colliegiette™, you know never to go to a party alone. Stay with your girls and don’t give creepy guys the time of day. Watch your drinks and feel free to call a cab, Saferides, or your roommate’s boyfriend for a ride back. Creepers are good for funny stories, but they can be dangerous too, so be careful!