Most people think staying friends when you’re across the country and don’t see one another for years at a time is impossible. After moving across the country twice and then going to college, I have personal experience to say otherwise. The people worth your friendship work to keep that relationship going, but only if it’s a two-way street. It’s not difficult, but it does require effort.
1. Set aside a time once a day/week/month to talk.
My best friend and I became closer after I moved across the country. We talked everyday and if for some reason we couldn’t, it’s wasn’t the end of the world because we knew we would talk again the next day. While this isn’t always possible, it IS still possible to check in with people and pick up where you left off if the friendship is genuine, even after months of not talking.
2. Don’t assume someone doesn’t care because you haven’t heard from her in a while.
I’ve found the best way to keep in touch with people is to just do it. When you think of a person, shoot them a message or call them up to tell them they’re on your mind. If you reach out, it’s almost always reciprocated.
3. Create a special way that helps you stay connected.
Another best friend and I started writing letters back and forth to one another when I started college. We’ve kept this up for 4 years and although they aren’t always as frequent as we would like, we do take the time to write the letters because the old fashioned way of staying in touch is overlooked most of the time.
4. Visit as much as possible.
Sometimes this isn’t an option, and that’s understandable. But at least try to make it possible. It’s hard to save up money for traveling, but it’s always a great adventure and the stories are timeless.
5. Skype, hello!
Skype is a great way to virtually be with someone. Of course it’s not the ideal way of spending time together, but it’s a lot better than not seeing them at all. It’s also a great idea to just talk to each other while you’re doing homework because it’s like you’re at the library together.
6. Accept the change that comes as we grow.
Life is a constant series of changes. It’s important for people to know that it’s ok not to be the same person they were three years, or even months, ago. We have to grow as people, and we have to support our friends as they grow so that we are able to continue growing together.
7. Never stop texting.
Texting is a great way to talk to people at your own pace and to send pictures and “thinking of you” messages without taking too much time away from the busy lives we lead.
In the end it’s about whether or not the friendship is worth maintaining. You’ll find out quickly who cares enough to keep in touch and who simply is a convenience friend holder. It differs from person to person, but it’s ultimately up to you to decide what you want and who you want in your life.