Shivers of nervous energy run down my spine as the announcer calls out the last ten seconds before the race begins. I can’t believe today is the day I’ve been psychically and mentally been preparing for months. Wasn’t it just yesterday that I could barely run 4 miles? As the lyrics “If you wanna say something then say something now I ain’t got time to be waiting around” come blaring into my ears from my race “endure” playlist, I think about how much I’ve grown from this journey. My “endure” playlist earned its name lovingly from my overarching goal for this year: endurance. Building my endurance physically was a huge goal, but even more so I aimed to build my emotional and mental endurance. There is so much value in being able to endure temporary pain in order to achieve something greater.
This day is a big day for me physically and mentally; it is the day I finally conquer this challenge I’ve had my mind set on for so long. It is also the day of my recently departed dear grandmother’s funeral in New Orleans. I knew today would be a difficult day for me since I could not attend, so I decided to dedicate my half-marathon in honor of her.
As the announcer finally reaches “ONE”, I sprint out of the start line (a little too fast I would later say) with adrenaline pumping through my veins. It feels so amazing to be running with the sun shining, high, high hopes, and Panic! At the Disco singing at me to GO MAKE A LEGACY. I am moving quick through the first three miles and around mile four I begin to hit my first wall. As I can feel my body slowing down, I listen to “Call You Mine” and think of all the people I love, all of the people I am so grateful to call mine, all of the wonderful people I am so blessed to know (picturing my mom’s beautiful loving face and imaging her voice yelling “Go SARAH” got me through a lot of times I almost wanted to give up completely). I think of my lovely grandma and all the love she had for all her grandchildren and children. She was a red-haired ray of sunshine. I imagine her beautiful smile spreading across her face as sees me come into her house and envelop me in a huge hug.
I find my rhythm once again and continue running (and running). As I hit mile 8 I can feel my quads BURNING and my motivating fading, but as I listen to the wise Lil Uzi Vert rap “I know it hurts sometimes but you’ll get over it” I tell myself repeatedly “you can do this”. I repeat this mantra until I gain my stride once again (hitting my 47thsecond wind at this point) and refocus my mind on the beauty I see. The leaves are turning breath-taking colors. I can hear people shouting YOU CAN DO IT. I see signs with funny slogans such as “that’s a lot of effort for a free banana” and “I like your stamina, call me!” and “hit this for a power up!”. People stood on the sidelines cheering for their loved ones; they stood on the sidelines cheering for complete strangers. Every time we came upon a long string of energetic people, my heart fluttered, and my heart warmed as I felt dumbstruck at the insane amount of love in this community. I never felt more at home in Baltimore than seeing all these people cheering me on and encouraging everyone.
Only 3 miles to go! As I listen to the words of Bishop Briggs, “you gotta fall down before you fight back…I am a CHAMPION” I think once more about the progress I’ve made physically and mentally. There will be many times in my life that I fail, but the only thing that truly matters is what I make of it and do next. At this point, I can see the finish line and I book it to the end, even passing a couple people as I push myself to finish as fast as I possibly can. After the race is over, I feel an intense rush of endorphins as I walk (panting) to get some water. I never had felt so accomplished in my entire life. I did THAT. I ran FAST; I am STRONG. It was truly an unforgettable experience.