Recently I came across a book suggestion that caught my attention. The name of the book was titled “Why Men Love Bitches” By Sherry Argov. This book is a women’s guide to navigating relationships, men, and answers questions that almost every woman has asked themselves at least once. Let me start off by saying, don’t be misled by the word bitch in the title. In this book, it is used rather as a term of endearment than the derogatory term that it is known to be. Whether you have been in a relationship yet or not, this book is a guide on how to navigate those uncharted waters. I have been in a serious relationship before, and many of the mistakes that I made along the way were echoed (TO A T) in this book. Not only did I recognize parallels in my own life and past relationships, but also in the lives of people that are close to me and their relationships that they have shared with me in detail. She really hit the nail on the head here and if you have been in a relationship with a guy before, long or short, strings attached or no strings attached, there is a 95% chance you have experienced what Argov is talking about.
What I love about this book is that not only is it an incredibly easy read, but it is so honest and unfiltered. In her book, she breaks it up into 11 chapters (243 pages). Within those chapters, there are bolded “Attraction Principles” and these are what you’re going to want to pay attention to as you read along. They are timeless rules to follow in relationships with men that help keep your morals, self-worth, and self-respect in check. I think that every woman should read this before entering any relationship. It has truly opened my eyes to things that I have never thought about or even considered when thinking about romantic relationships. What I have learned from this book I will carry with me in my future relationships and I can confidently say that I have a totally new perspective on some things because of this book. I’m not saying that you should base every single move you make in a relationship because of this book, but Argov definitely gives food for thought through this light and funny read.
What I loved the most about this book was how she incorporated the male voice and some real-life scenarios to further exemplify the points that she was making. Argov interviewed a large population of people who were both male and female, married single or divorced, and of many different ages ranging from 18 to 70! The consistencies she found were pretty impressive, and since males gave their own opinions and were even quoted in the book, it ensures that her perspective throughout the book isn’t one sided. I also want to clarify that this book doesn’t bash men and feed into the “all men are trash” attitude that is very alive in the modern-day perspective of relationships, which furthers my belief into this book being an honest and reliable relationship guide that women should consider reading.
Overall, the main things that I am going to carry with me that this book has reminded me of are:
– Stay true to yourself and your character.
– Never compromise your interests to make space for a guy.
– Be your own person before, during, and after relationships… complete codependency is unhealthy and may leave you empty handed.
– One guy is not your “be all end all”… there are a million more where he came from waiting in line!
– NEVER question your value. Your actions and the behavior/disrespect you tolerate and respond to reflect what you believe your self-worth is.
– If you don’t respect yourself, (he will pick up on it) and he never will.
Here are 6 of Argov’s “Attraction Principles” that are my favorite
ATTRACTION PRINCIPLE #6
It is your attitude about yourself that a man will adopt
ATTRACTION PRINCIPLE #16
A bitch gives a man plenty of space, so he doesn’t fear getting trapped in a cage. Then… he sets out to trap her in his
ATTRACTION PRINCIPLE #17
If you tell him you are not interested in jumping into a relationship with both feet, he will set out to try to change your mind.
ATTRACTION PRINCIPLE #30
Any time a woman competes with another woman, she demeans herself.
ATTRACTION PRINCIPLE #43
If you allow your rhythm to be interrupted, you’ll create a void. Then, to replace what you give up, you’ll start to expect and need more from your partner.
ATTRACTION PRINCIPLE #45
A woman looks more secure in a man’s eyes when he can’t pull her away from her life, because she is content with her life.
Works cited; Argov, Sherry. Why Men Love Bitches. Avon, Mass: Adams Media Corp, 2009. Print.