“I think we are well advised to keep on nodding terms with the people we used to be, whether we find them attractive company or not.” — Joan Didion, “On Keeping a Notebook.”
Every night before bed, I open my notebook. Whether it’s a 3-page entry analyzing all of my emotions, or just a few lines about my day, this routine helps me check in with myself each day. Some mornings I’ll do a thought dump (also known as “morning pages”) where I let the pencil move and get all my thoughts out before the day begins.
I keep a few journals for different things: one for current thoughts, one for prayer and gratitude, and, my favorite, one for everything. I take my “everything” notebook almost everywhere I go. I treat it as a physical form of my notes app. It’s filled with random thoughts, brainstorms, research, to-do lists, doodles, and more. It also doubles as a sort of junk journal. I tape in receipts, business cards, tea tags, fruit stickers, or anything that holds meaning to me. None of my journals are very neat or organized. They are outlets for my emotions, interests, and creativity, and ways for me to recall who I am and what I care about.
It reminds me of Joan Didion’s essay “On Keeping a Notebook.” She writes that we don’t keep notebooks to remember facts, but to remember what it felt like to be ourselves in certain moments. When I flip through old pages, I see versions of myself I’d almost forgotten. All the little worries, bursts of excitement, scraps I’ve collected from different places and people, things that feel huge in the moment but smaller in hindsight; these all come together to create a capsule of my inner world.
I know it sounds cliché, but in an age where most memories are stored digitally, in camera rolls, messages, and social media, there is something so grounding about putting pen to paper. My journal feels more intimate, raw, and completely my own than anything on my phone.
I’ve seen a lot of talk online about keeping a “journal ecosystem” and I love seeing perfectly organized aesthetic spreads on Pinterest and TikTok. But I try not to put too much pressure on making things look pretty. Personally, when I take that into consideration, it starts to feel inauthentic. In the end, my notebook doesn’t need to be perfect. Each page, messy or not, is a reflection of me!