Imposter syndrome spares no one, especially those you would least expect. I am a third year pre-medical studies student that recently received an early acceptance to my dream medical school. When it comes to the medical school application process, many of my friends and younger peers turn to me for advice. I always try my best to provide guidance about which classes to take and when, study habits, when to start writing your personal statement, how to get clinical and research hours, etc. Most people would think—including me prior to “making it”—that moving onto the next step provides all the reassurance you need that you are deserving of your spot and that you didn’t just get “lucky” time and time again. Despite working as hard as I possibly could for the past three years and having an extensive list of experience and accomplishments, I still struggle with imposter syndrome like many other students.
Imposter syndrome always sets in at the worst time and often has no basis for actual concern. Mine is always the worst before exams or occasionally the night before a twelve hour shift. Before every exam, I always overthink “What if I fail? What if I blank or actually don’t know anything? What if all the other times I was just lucky?” even though that is simply not true. There’s no reason for me to think this way, but my brain can’t stop invalidating my own effort and track record. Similarly, before work as an EMT, my brain jumps to imagining the worst calls imaginable. I’m sometimes anxious about what chaos the shift could bring, but as always, it ends up being okay and I leave each shift knowing that I gave the best care I could.
It’s these moments of self-doubt that are all too common for perfectionistic students, especially those in competitive fields like medicine. It seems as though everyone has high GPAs, hundreds of hours, several publications, and other impressive experiences. Sometimes, it’s hard to believe that you’re as deserving as the others; that’s when imposter syndrome kicks in. The competitive culture generated from the very selective graduate school admission process intensifies the pressure and comparison to peers. Eventually, the brain succumbs to this pressure and plays tricks on you. It makes you think that how people perceive you is not who you actually are and that you’ve been lucky to make it this far without exposing your incompetence.
Clearly, this is nonsensical. We know it, but that doesn’t make it feel any less real. You don’t succeed over and over again because of just luck, you succeed because you constantly put in the effort and persist through every obstacle. The truth is, at some point, everyone experiences imposter syndrome. The more you challenge yourself and succeed, the more baffled you will be that you actually did it! The path to accepting this truth can be difficult and lead to the cycle of self-doubt, anxiety, and fear that accompanies imposter syndrome.
Many are quick to believe that having imposter syndrome is an inherently bad thing. While it can be difficult to manage, it is actually a positive sign. It demonstrates that you challenge and surround yourself with people that you admire. If you always feel comfortable, chances are you’re in the “wrong room” and you’re not growing into your maximum potential. From one student struggling with imposter syndrome to another: you’re not alone, what you’re feeling is normal, and it doesn’t mean you’re not capable! You are where you are because you deserve it :)