There I was last Sunday morning, like any other unsuspecting and innocent student at John Carroll, untagging myself in unflattering Halloween photos of me from last night and replacing them with edited (and much more sober) photos, all while catching up with my friends about their Hallow’s eve schemes, when all of a sudden an unholy noise attacks my eardrums, similar to hearing a professor announcing the date of your next exam, but much, much worse.
Christmas Music. On the first of November.
Unacceptable.
Maybe it was the dramatic lighting of the ghastly fluorescent dorm lighting, maybe it was the timing, but this particularly jolly rendition of “Frosty the Snowman” felt like a personal attack on my entire humanity. We cannot stand for this, John Carroll! We must fight for our right to November! To Fall! To Pumpkin Spice lattes and the apple picking group photos to come! To still having time to pretend to study for finals!
So in case you need to remind yourself what time of year it is:
10 Reasons Why It’s Not Christmas (Yet)
- This disturbing lack of snow.
Hint: Grass is green and snow is white.
2. People shoot you dirty looks when you play “Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree” in the Atrium.
They might even stop holding the door open for you.
3. It’s actually 70 Degrees out.
I’m just wearing my leggings-sweater-scarf combo because it’s John Carroll, not because it’s cold.
4. It still only takes you 10 minutes to walk to Dolan.
Having to climb over mountains of snow and slide down the stairs really adds some minutes to your morning commute.
5. You can’t even #tbt to halloween yet.
If you #tbt from yesterday, is it even a #tbt?
6. People are still outside.
It doesn’t feel like you go to school by yourself because everyone isn’t inside, under blankets.
7. You’re still making plans to have your friends save you a spot at Thanksgiving Dinner because you have a late class.
“I’m getting there at 1pm, do you think that’s too late?”
8. Starbucks hasn’t switched to it holiday menu yet.
#redcupready
9. Campus isn’t decorated.
Lower tuition? Never. Have thousands of dollars worth of Christmas decorations? Duh.
10. You haven’t started your holiday diet yet.
French fries or thigh gaps??? Why not both.
I am not a Scrooge, It’s just November.