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A Guy’s Guide: Is She Flirting?

Dear Boys,

You are dumb. Want to know why? It’s because you don’t know when a girl is flirting with you, even when its right in front of you face.


Every Girl Ever

So the question of the hour, what do boys think flirting from a girl looks like? I asked a few boys and here is what I found:

·         She’s overly giggly/smiley

·         Very chatty

·         She plays with her hair

·         “She sits in the duty office and won’t leave.” – Christian Brandetsas

·         Laughs at my dumb jokes

·         Obsessive eye contact

·         Waves to me

·         “The lean”

·         Looks at my lips

·         She agrees way too much with me

·         A lingering hug

·         If they hit you and say ‘stop’


“I mean we know you guys are flirting with us, we just choose to ignore it.” – Nick Byorth

My favorites they said are:

·         The Bend and Snap

·         She winks a lot

Really guys? The Bend and Snap?!


Well they figured out SOME of the basics. The ones that movies show where every girl plays with her hair, while biting her lip, and laughing obnoxiously. Girls are way more complicated than that.

So here we go! Off to Never Land! A place where boys understand girls…


I am going to go over five ways a girl flirts with a guy so that you can understand what the heck is going on in a girl’s mind. Because most the time, we don’t even understand what we are doing we just do it. Like how if we really like a guy, sometimes, we ignore him? Yes, that is a real thing, dumb, but very real.


1. Proximity to you


I am going to let you guys in on a little secret about girls. More often than not, if we are interested in you, we don’t want you to know at first.  Hence, when we ignore you. It is called indirect flirting, we assume you can figure out.


Let’s say you and her are eating dinner with your friends at the same table. She won’t sit next to you, unless that’s the last seat open. She will either sit across from you or at an angle that you have a clear view of her. This is for three reasons:

1.      She doesn’t want to seem eager (God forbid if you figure out she likes you that easily right?)

2.      She wants you to come sit next to her (she’s testing you, deal with it and don’t ask questions)

3.      If she can’t be near you, she wants you to be able to see her at all times. That way she will be on your mind

Rule number three also applies when you aren’t at the same table or sitting next to each other in class. She will pick a seat and position herself so that she is in your line of vision. This way you will see her talking, smiling, and having fun, which in our minds equals you will know we are a good time and can have fun with you. So, if you always seem to see her at a meal or around campus, it’s not by chance. She is probably planning that.


2. The Smile


Boys seem to think for a girl to be flirting, she has to be smiling at you all the time. Yes we will smile, a lot, but not those big pearly white smiles you are thinking of. Think about it: if a girl just stands there staring at you with this huge smile and stares at you, it’s kind of creepy. That’s all a girl wants to do when the guy she likes is around, but we have trained ourselves to suppress the creepy staring/smiling thing.

The smile you should look for, if she really is flirting with you, is if she glances up at you, smiles, and looks down at her feet. Actually, I learned this one in one of my Management classes here at JCU. Yes, it seems wrong, but it’s true. So what do you do when she is smiling you ask? Well, smile back for gosh sakes!


3. Around your friends


Sometimes, a girl will ignore you and pretend you are not even there (even if you are standing right next to her). She might even be overtly friendly/flirty with your friends right in front of you. Why? To make you mad, maybe? Mad enough that you’ll be the first one to start a conversation with her because she’s too nervous to. Yes, this sounds really dumb and backwards, but girls are simply crazy. Would it be as fun if we weren’t? Most times a girl will ignore you until you say something. We expect you to pick up on this and talk to us. How will you know she wants you to talk to her, even if she is not talking to you? Her shoulders will be facing in your direction, pointing her chest at you. She could be having a conversation with a completely different person but if her body is facing you, that means you better pluck up the courage and go talk to her.


4. The knee touch


The Knee Touch Theory is one of my best friend’s favorite ‘flirting’ move. She swears by it. The knee touch is pretty much self-explanatory; it is when a girl touches your knee. Shocker. This will happen when she is sick of playing games and ignoring you, playing with your hair or a million other ways she has tried flirting with you and you haven’t caught on. No more being shy and waiting for you to make the first move. If a girl touches your knee or upper thigh, there is a 99% she is very much into you and trying to relay this message to you. So if you take anything from this just remember The Knee Touch!


5. Texting


In our day and age, flirting is no longer done in person only. Texting can be an easier way for some people to flirt, especially if you’re feeling shy or timid. A person can hide behind his or her screen and not worry about thinking on their feet; they can mull over their responses and come up with a cute comeback. Now how do you tell if she is flirting to you when she is texting you?

First: Is she replying?  With more than one word? Yes? That’s half the battle!

If she responds to you with more than two words, doesn’t let the conversation die, and throws in some smiley faces, she is probably flirting with you. Now, if she does only use one word responses, or doesn’t reply, or if you are holding the conversation alive, I am sorry man, she’s just not that into you and you should move on.

That’s all folks! Did any of this help you? Eh. Maybe? Girls are hard to understand, and this is coming from one. Just don’t try too hard to understand why we do what we do. Just play the game. Games are supposed to be fun! In the words of T-Swift, “Boys only want love if it’s torture.” Good luck boys!

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