Last week, Her Campus JCU staff member, Rachel Mills, wrote an excellent piece about what it is like being a woman in the male dominated military culture. Reading it got me thinking about what it is like being the only guy in our chapter of Her Campus. I have a few quick observations I’ll share below!
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You Realize That Even When You Agree on Controversial Topics, Men and Women Come from Very Different Perspectives
When brainstorming ideas to write about, it’s normal to get into conversations that may be somewhat controversial. Somebody may say, “should the guy pay on the first date?” and everyone in the room disagrees about it. That’s okay, but why they disagree is what interested me. I learned that the rationale behind the decision is very different from mine and men’s perspective in general. And not just in a generalist “traditional mindset” kind of way – but I realized that the assumptions that our opinions are based on are very different due to the different experience being a man vs. a woman. Even when we agree, like on sexy Halloween costumes, the reasons for our agreement come from two very different places. It is intriguing to discuss with the staff about why they feel a certain way. It goes to show that even when you agree on things, don’t assume it’s for the same reasons: if we want to learn more about each other, we have to listen.
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You Feel Like a Foreigner
Somewhere between being offered the eyeliner and the tampons, I realized I wasn’t the target demographic for Her Campus. Now, I’m a guy that is pretty in tune with my feminine side, but certainly, there are times when I realize that, again, I’m not operating under the same assumptions. Believe me, there have been plenty of meetings where I say something, expecting nods of knowing approval throughout the room, only to be met with a dozen incredulous stares and someone offering a confused, “…what??” Talk about awkward!!!
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Even Though It’s Challenging, Her Campus Gives me a Special Joy
I spent the first few points talking about the difficulties of being the only guy in Her Campus, but the truth is, the time I have spent with them has helped me realize how great it is to be a part of. I have learned so much from the ladies, and Her Campus has given me an opportunity to reflect on relationships, masculinity and femininity, and what it means to be a guy. I look forward to our weekly meeting, and one of my favorite parts of the week is spending a half hour with the girls, laughing, talking, and learning together.