Avengers Endgame

It’s Avengers Weekend!! Aka, “Avengers: Endgame” has come out! I am so nervous to see this movie. But also very excited. Seriously, my stomach is doing flip-flops as I write this. So to try and alleviate some of this stress, I would like to share my (completely unfounded) predictions of what will happen in this movie.

 

One of the original Avengers will die

For those who may need a refresher, the original Avengers were: Captain America, Iron Man, Thor, Black Widow, Hulk, and Hawkeye. I predict that probably Captain America or Iron Man will die. If Captain America dies, I will literally lose any love for humanity I had left. It will be over for me. I will never smile again.

 

There will be an awkward hetero kiss

The MCU has really struggled with romance. For real, let’s go over the couples we have had here: Bruce and Betty from “The Incredible Hulk” (the worst movie in the MCU), Thor and Jane (broke up), Tony and Pepper (married but it’s been rough), Steve and Peggy (Peggy died), Steve and Peggy’s niece (the worst thing that this world has ever been subjected to), Bruce and Natasha (no one liked it), Clint and his wife (cute but no one cared), Peter and Gamora (felt forced), Scott and Hope (eh it was all right), T’Challa and Nakia (pretty good), Vision and Wanda (super weird), Dr. Strange and Christine (gross), and Peter and Liz (they were hardly a couple). Legitimately, NONE of these are that good. But I’m betting that at some point in this movie, there will be yet another weird forced smooch.

 

They will taunt me with gay subtext

Related to the above prediction, the MCU does this thing where it totally has an LGBTQ+ character but refuses to admit it. For example, Steve and Bucky are together. They are the best romance in this franchise. Carol and Maria are together. They are raising a child together. Loki is gay. Valkyrie is gay. Tony and Bruce have a crush on each other (both are bisexual). I know these things for a fact. But it will not be explicit. You gotta read between the lines.

 

All the dusted characters come back

This is a given. We knew that they had to come back. I’m betting they all come back--some people think that only some of them are coming back, but I say all. Also, Loki comes back. There is no way Loki is dead. Loki does not die. He is alive. I feel it.

 

Pepper is pregnant

A lot of people are predicting this one. At the beginning of “Infinity War,” Tony talks to Pepper about how he had a dream that she was pregnant and Pepper is like “No” but I bet that in this one she’s gonna be pregnant. It will be pointless, but it will be there.

 

There will be a group shot

“Avengers,” “Age of Ultron,” “Civil War,” and “Infinity War” all had ICONIC shots of the whole squad. This film will give us another, because the MCU loves us and gives us what we need.

                                                                                      Courtesy: Radio Times  

Captain America will say “Avengers Assemble”

He has to.

 

Thanos is defeated, but he doesn’t die

I mean, they gotta defeat Thanos, because everyone has to come back. But I don’t know, I feel like he’s too strong to actually die? Then again, everyone’s powers are so unexplained. Thor defeated the goddess of death and bore the full force of a star, Dr. Strange defeated Dormammu who was like a master of dark magic (or something?? He was powerful), Vision literally IS an infinity stone, Scarlet Witch has some kind of crazy powers, Captain Marvel has some kind of crazy powers, Mantis has some kind of crazy powers, Black Panther can use vibranium to do literally whatever, Tony can use “technology” to do literally anything...what I’m saying is, a whole lot of these heroes have some crazy powers that can basically provide whatever the plot needs them to, so I guess anything is possible.

 

Peter Quill will say something stupid

I hate him. I HATE HIM. He has nothing to offer.

 

Quips

Speaking of Peter Quill, this movie will definitely follow in the footsteps of its predecessors and have a whole lot of quips. Iron Man does them, Thor does them, Quill does them, Sam (The Falcon) does them...I feel that only Peter Parker and Scott (Ant-Man) do them properly. Only they can quip. Everyone else can chill.

 

I will clap, whoop, scream, and cry

This is not a movie prediction, just a very educated guess about my own behavior.