People always say that turning 21 makes you feel different, but honestly, I feel the same. I never drank in high school; I did not have my first drink until I was a freshman in college. I was never really into drinking, but my old best friend got me into it at the time. It was a rough relationship that ended badly, and ever since then I probably drink more than the average person because of trauma and different circumstances.
When I drink too much I tend to get really depressed, to the point where my friends are, or were getting worried and had to talk me down. The day before my 21st birthday, I got super down on myself, because I had a sense that I should not be allowed to turn 21. I thought to myself, everyone else gets to turn 21 and enjoy it, but I have to worry whether or not I have a drinking problem. The freedom to just be able to go buy alcohol and time, anywhere just scared me because of how I used to be.
However, when I turned 21, I realized that I have more control over what, and how much I drink. I have to set boundaries and be responsible with them and make good choices. And the past week I have been realizing how far I have come with my drinking struggles, and am proud of myself for how far I have come.
I do not want anyone to worry, this is not a cry for help. I just wanted to share for people who may be dealing with the same type of situation.