Second chances can be terrifying. When someone that had hurt you comes back and wants another shot, your mind can be in shambles. Regardless if it’s a friend, family member, or an ex you are going to be wondering whether giving this person another chance is worth it. If you should trust them again? If you’re making the right decision for yourself. Sometimes we wish someone could randomly appear in our room and tell us exactly what we are meant to do. Unfortunately, it isn’t that easy. We have to go through life, taking risks, leaving bad situations and hoping that it was for the best and that eventually you will end up where you are suppose to be in life.
1. Forgive them
In order to actually have any chance to actually talk to this person again, you have to remember what they did, accept whatever apology you did get and then look to the brighter side of things. Everything does happen for a reason. Maybe that reason was to work on yourselves or maybe to just find yourself. Remember, just because you can forgive, doesn’t mean you have to forget.
2. Tell them how you feel
Sit down and tell them how you feel about everything. Tell them why you might be on edge. Explain that whatever they had done to you, that it hurt you and you are having a tough time getting past it. If they are getting upset and not understanding where you are coming from, then there is your answer. Walk away. Though if they are understanding and know that it is going to be tough earning the trust back, maybe there is a chance to bloom again.
3. Pros and Cons
As weird as this sounds, make a list. Write pro on one side and con on the other. Think about everything. Could you overcome all the problems? Could you be happier? Would you sit and wonder what could go wrong? Would you constantly think about what they did to put you in this situation? Would it be healthy or toxic?
4. Don’t worry about others
If you do decide to give them another shot in your life, understand that everyone is going to have their own opinion. Everyone is going to have something to say. It doesn’t matter what anyone says. Some people are just going to worry about you. Know that they don’t want to see you hurt. They are just trying to look out for you. It’s about what is going to make you a happier person. It’s about what is right for you to do. Do not let anyone tell you that you are wrong for letting them in again. It’s about you and only you.
5. Accept them
Talk to them again. Tell them that you want another shot, but you don’t want to end up hurt. You should let everything out. This conversation should have no boundaries. Tell them what you expect and that you will not receive anything less. You know what you deserve and that you will get what you deserve. You are letting them have another chance in your life because you do love and care about them. Do not try to pick up right where you left off. Stand your ground. Don’t let anyone walk all over you. Have your guard up for a little bit. It’s okay and they should understand why.
Letting people in your life again after they have hurt you can be a scary thing. Though it’s okay to want to give them another chance. Maybe it’s for the best. Always stand your ground. You are letting them back into your life. They should not take you for granted. Remember not to settle for anything less than you deserve.