What’s the scariest thing about Halloween? No, it’s the movies, the masks, or even the hordes of trick-or-treaters showing up at your door after dark.
It’s cuffing season. There’s no coincidence that the most horrifying time of the year falls right around Halloween.
But finding someone worthy of defining the relationship is like carving a pumpkin with a spoon: pointless and ineffective. To help you through those trials and tribulations, here’s a list of the guys you might want to avoid if you’re looking for love.
- Ghosts
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Has this ever happened to you: you just met “the one”. You talk all day, every day. Maybe you meet up for a date (or two). Things are really going well. And then it just…ends.
Wonder what went wrong? Was it something you said? Did they meet someone new? Throw their phone into the ocean? Sound familiar? You may have been ghosted.
Ghosting is a new term for an otherwise old dating phenomenon: one party abruptly cuts off all communication without any warning or reason. Other than being rude, it’s not a very practical or efficient way of communicating.
If you suspect you may be ghosted (i.e. you’re always the one initiating the conversation, dates keep getting canceled, you feel like you’re being led on, etc) give your heart a break. Call your local exorcist, let them handle this one.
- Zombies
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Similar to ghosts, these guys always seem to come back from the dead (and right into your DMs) at the most inconvenient time. What makes them so much worse is all the heartbreak, confusion, and feelings they bring back with them. Sounds like a mess, right?
One surefire way to keep zombies from coming back is to bury them. End the relationship on YOUR terms. Set boundaries and be consistent with them. It’s confusing and hurtful to be led on, but letting someone back in your life after they just let you down is only setting yourself up for even more heartbreak.
- Vampires
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Perhaps the most insidious of all the creeps you may encounter while dating are the vampires. They seem normal enough. Nice, even.
Just wait until after dark.
You wake up, look in the mirror and…what’s that on your neck?
Instead of grabbing your concealer and covering yourself from the shoulders up in foundation, go for the more practical solution: talk to your partner. It may be a bit embarrassing, but you’re both adults and you’ve got to set some ground rules. If your partner is worth keeping around, they should understand (and steer clear of your neck), no garlic, wooden stakes or crucifixes required.
Let’s face it: there’s no easy way to navigate the dating pool. You might just want to lock your door and spend some time watching scary movies with your favorite ghoul-friends instead.
Either way, have a happy (and safe!) Halloween!