Dear Future Boyfriend,
I’m at a confusing point in my life. I’ve been hurt before, and I’ve built up walls to protect myself. I know enough of the tricks that I won’t fall for just any boy. I’ve accepted you into my heart for good reason. Don’t break it.
Please understand me before you choose me.
I’m sensitive and I feel deeply. My anxiety makes uncomfortable in situations I don’t experience often. It’s hard enough on me, and asking you to carry that burden is something I don’t want to do, but if you can handle it, please do. I promise I’m trying to handle it as best as I can but sometimes I just need that shoulder to lean on. Anxiety and panic attacks don’t last forever, and it’ll only be easier if you don’t make a fuss. Be patient, don’t yell, don’t blame yourself, me or anyone else. Know that my family is the world to me. I may fight with my mom or complain about my dad, but my mom is my best friend and my dad is my hero. My little brother should be yours too. Play ball with him, he might not like you, but try anyways. He doesn’t like me either, but I’ll never give up. Understand that I have a temper, but if I get upset with you, it’s because I care. Sometimes I will do things that bother you, and you’ll do things that bother me. Communicate.
Please be my best friend.
I like to call everyone my best friend. I can open up to people easily, and then entirely shut them out. I need to be comfortable with you. Let me be silly. Laugh at my jokes. Take my sass. (It means I like you.) Be silly with me, make jokes back at me, be even sassier. Having a good personality will only make me fall for you more. Let me tell you anything without judgement. Confide in me and don’t fear that I’ll reject your ideas. This doesn’t have to be a formal courting. Be my friend first, it’s the most important part.
Please help me when I fall.
There will be days that I don’t want to get out of bed for 12 hours. I’ll fall into a depressive slump and say things that aren’t even logical. Sometimes I’ll think I annoy everyone and that everyone hates me, even you. Don’t get frustrated, please. Please pick me up, help me realize how wrong I am. If that means having to lay in bed with me for 12 hours while I silently watch Netflix, please do it. Sometimes all I need is to know that you want to keep me company. That my presence in your life is something you desire. Show me that.
Please don’t change for me.
I’ve spent a lot of my life accepting and learning to love these things about myself, I won’t try to waste your time if you can’t do the same. If I’m what you want, prove it to me. Don’t change to make me want you back. I will if you’re right for me. I’ve been through a lot of guys that fake just to get what they want and leave. If I get that sense, I’m out. Be honest.
Please be careful with my heart.
Toxic relationships have plagued me my entire life. I want someone I can open up to. But that won’t happen right away. Show me it’s worth it. Show me that I’m all you want and if I give you my heart, handle it with care. Because it’s the most valuable thing I have to offer you.
With Love,
Adrienne