Recently I attended the etiquette dinner hosted by the IUP Career and Professional Development Center. I used to think that I had pretty good table manners. I still do, but it wasn’t until I went to this dinner that I realized just how little I really knew about proper table etiquette. Aside from working your way from the outside in when using silverware and not putting your elbows on the table, I knew NOTHING.
For starters, the average number of courses served is five. It doesn’t typically go below four and it can go as high as 32, sometimes even more. When going to a business dinner, whether it’s for an interview, some sort of lunch conference, or anything in between, the general rule of thumb is to always follow the host. What this means is that you should watch the host of the dinner carefully and follow their actions. For example, you can only start eating after they start to eat. They are also the ones who get the conversation going and set the general vibe of the dinner, so make sure to match their pace.
The next one might be common sense, but I feel like it’s important to mention anyway. Never reach over anybody at the table. When you do need something that is far away from you, ask the person beside you to give it to you. If the item is two or three people away, then the person closest to said item will pick it up and give it to the person right beside them, then the next person does the same, and so on and so forth. And when we are passing things around, you are never supposed to “skip” a person, reach over them and pass it to the person on the opposite side of them. That is seen as rude and is simply inappropriate behavior.Â
Something I was worried about was what I should do if I was served something I didn’t like. I am not a very picky person, but I feel rather strongly about the foods that I don’t. I learned that it is appropriate to take out certain parts of a meal, but it is important not to go overboard. For example, one of the courses served was a salad. Unfortunately, two of the foods that I hate the most are also the most common ingredients in salads which are carrots and onions. As much as I hate carrots, I knew that I couldn’t pick all of them out AND all of the onions too. Especially considering that my salad was smothered with carrots. If I were to pick them all out it would have been too obvious that I was avoiding them. So, I had to eat (some of) the carrots. At the same time I did get to avoid the onions completely, so it wasn’t an entire loss.
For the most part, this shouldn’t really be a problem because, more often than not, you order what you want to eat. However, when eating something that is served to everyone, it gets harder and harder to avoid. In addition, when you are removing the ingredients/foods that you don’t enjoy, never actually pick them out or set them on a napkin or anything else like that. The proper way to do it is to discreetly put them into a small pile in the corner of your plate.Â
Another important thing I learned is that when you take a break from eating, you are never to set your silverware back down on your napkin. Once you pick up a utensil, it is only ever allowed to touch your plate. It cannot be set anywhere else. This rule was heavily stressed at the dinner.
When you are all finished with a course, your main course especially, there are two ways you can set down your silverware. The first is considered continental style. That is when you place your knife and your fork at the bottom of your plate in a small “X” formation. The other option is Western style which is what we use here in the U.S. For this one you will place your knife and fork side-by-side at four o’clock near the edge of the plate. The prongs/tip will be in the middle of the plate and the handles of each instrument will be on the outside.Â
These rules were the ones that stood out to me the most. However, keep in mind that these rules vary from occasion to occasion, and from reason to reason. If you know what kind of dinner or lunch you are going to attend, be sure to look up some more specific tips!