Lately, it feels like time is flying by but at the same time in the slowest way possible. I feel like every day goes by and it seems so fast, but the day itself is so slow if it makes sense. Maybe it’s the spending no time on myself and on everyone else. My classes this semester are the hardest that I have taken yet, and the workload is extreme. I stayed until 10 pm yesterday with my group to work on an exam that is happening Thursday. What do I want to do though? I don’t know honestly. I want to talk to my fiancé, I want to go out to eat, I want to go to fun events on campus. I feel like I always get jipped out of events. The school’s committee always does cool stuff on Thursday nights, I have labs from 2:30-5:15 and then 5:30-8:05 so it doesn’t work out.
I have been blowing off work because I feel like getting an extra two hours of sleep will make me feel better but instead, it weighs on me and I feel guilty. I am officially burnt out. Two clubs, two jobs, one research position, and 17 credits worth of classes is catching up fast. I had the best time that I have had in a long-time last Friday. We went to the bars with my two friends and I had such a good time just not thinking about everything we have to do. I’m not saying that the bar every weekend is the answer, but I felt good. No other words really other than good. I think I need to spend more time in the now and stop worrying about what could come or isn’t going to come.
Overall, I am just ready to graduate, and I am sure ALL of the seniors in college right now are thinking the same thing. I have been full-on credits and workload year-round my whole college career with Spring, Summer, Fall, and Winter classes (no wonder I am tired). I am striving for a good GPA so that I can get into grad school after this, and I think that is the biggest weight of all on me right now. My GPA isn’t terrible, but it could be better. I am trying to not overthink it because I am the first person in my family to obtain a bachelor’s degree, but I feel like the bar is set too high for myself set by myself. I am so worried about not getting the best grades that I am missing the fun out of a lot of things. I am my biggest hater.
Things I am going to improve on:
– killing myself about grades
– turning down fun for more stress
– letting other people weigh me down
– pleasing others
I’ll report back and let you all know what happens. I am going to try to better my habits and mindset so that I stop feeling so overwhelmed and burnt out. I can’t just give up on everything, I just need to find balance (and get better sleep). Senioritis is hitting hard right now and I need to treat it FAST.