Since it is getting warmer, I thought that I would touch on something that a lot of people talk about but never experience. Body hair is such a weirdly controversial topic that bigots will use to try to make women feel less feminine. The thing is, I have PCOS. Because of this, my hair, especially on my arms grows thick. This has always been the thing that I am most insecure about because everyone has arm hair, but mine is dark and thick. Some people have pointed it out and that is what really hurts, when someone else notices it too. Kids say whatever they want whenever they want. A lot of the times though, kids aren’t taught to be courteous of other people’s feelings. Usually, kids are the most brutal in this case. I had a kid come up to me once and grab my arm and say, “you’re really hairy, you’re a boy”. That one hurt. I know, it is just a kid but still. Parents often just laugh it out and don’t discipline them for being unkind. That is just one instant. When I was in high school people made fun of me too. I’ve thought about shaving them so many times because of this but I know it will be worse on me mentally and will be a lot of maintenance. I shouldn’t have to feel this way but other people make me feel it.
I went to a Mexican restaurant the other day. The man checking us out said, “how do you say this in English, I really like this” and points to my forearm and says, “ the hair”. Immediately I wanted to cry. This wasn’t a child; this was a full-grown man. My friend that used to work there said that he was just a creep in general, but it still made me feel really bad. In his own mind, he was complimenting me (I guess) but in mind, my confidence was completely stepped on. Now that the months are becoming warmer my decisions in the morning are getting harder. I spend 20 minutes or more sometimes trying to figure out what shirt I am going to wear. Deciding if I want to sweat all day to wear long sleeves or feel bad about myself for wearing short sleeves. Every single day it is a battle with myself to convince my own mind that it isn’t that deep, that no one is looking, that it isn’t that bad. Then, people point it out or make a comment and that just confirms that I was wrong. People share things on Facebook that say, “don’t comment on peoples body hair”, but then do it. I see this all of the time. The thing is, you shouldn’t make fun of other people because of people like me, we are already hard on ourselves for these things, and it takes everything to be able to walk out the door after self-convincing. If you or your child can’t be nice to others and keep your opinions to yourself then you need to work on you first before judging others but more importantly, don’t go out. Period. Your comment that you made without any thought in your head about how it would make someone feel, that will leave you unaffected for the rest of your life shouldn’t make me feel like less and stick with me replaying in my mind.