Insecurities Series: Restaurants

Restaurant hosts always seat me in the middle of the room. 

I don't know what their thought process is as they seat people, but I feel like I am always placed right in the middle of the room. It seems so stupid when you think about it; it’s only a seat. The thing is, at a restaurant, everybody stares at you when you walk in, and when we sit down I feel like it just continues. I feel like everybody is watching me and it makes me sad. I always order last. I don’t want to get a meal with two sides if everyone else is getting one. I am afraid to order appetizers or desserts with fear of being judged. Words hurt. People do not care anymore and they just say whatever they want with no remorse of the consequences or impact they have.

Photo by Jonas Jacobsson on Unsplash

It takes one time for someone to say something mean and that sets someone off to take their own life. Nobody deserves to die. Nobody deserves to feel like they’re nothing. I’ve been there and it is a dark hole to come out of. This can lead to people having eating disorders. Making fun of someone for their weight or eating habits can be VERY harmful to someone who has had or thought about having an eating disorder.