I don’t know about all of you, but I tend to scroll through the internet in search of the kick-ass-est Halloween costumes I can find, only to find that the most creative, artsy ones can cost north of $50 to buy or create. And, as a fellow Starving College Student, I can say with pretty certain confidence that ain’t nobody got time fo’ dat. What, then, is one to do? Here are some ideas that I or my friends have used in the past.
Pageant Winner: As long as you can dig up an old homecoming or prom dress, you’re just about set. Make yourself a sash out of a bed sheet or a long piece of ribbon and write your personal self-appointed superlative. It can be simple (“Miss IUP 2013”), outrageous (“Best Singer on a Bicycle 2013”), or just you (“Best Savannah 2013”). Then it’s just a matter of sporting your best pageant girl makeup and waving like a Dixie queen.
Some Sort of Dude: Assuming you have at least one male in your life, being some kind of guy is an easy-peasy costume that will cost nothing more than a little extra makeup. One year, for example, my friends and I went as Backstreet Boys. Another year, we went as lacrosse dude-bros. If you have a guy friend who tends to dress rather dapperly, pulling off a member of the Super Who Lock fandom should also be a piece of cake. To pull the look off best, avoid a lot of makeup in the usual way and, instead, use it to make a five-o’clock shadow and stark cheekbones.
A Tumblr Picture: Those of you who spend copious amounts of time in the internet should be familiar with Shiba Inu dogs and their grammatically heinous captions in Comic Sans font. With a little creative thinking, you can be a walking tumblr picture. Print out a few silly captions in Comic Sans font and safety pin them to a shirt you don’t care too much for.
Finals Week: Perhaps the easiest and realest costume I ever pulled off in a pinch. You’ve seen the horrors of the last week of the semester. Unshaven, unshowered, hair unkempt, makeup smeared, and flashcards everywhere, students enduring the hell that is finals week stick out like a sore thumb. To make this your costume, simply pull out your rattiest clothes, roll around a little bit, and pin some study guides and vocab cards to yourself.
American Eagle Salesperson: This costume will literally explain itself. Pick one brand of clothing you wear a lot and dress in that brand exclusively. Top it off with a nametag. Whenever anyone walks past you, stop them, put on your peppiest voice, and lay into your best clothing store spiel. Say something along the lines of, “Hi! My name is Savannah! Welcome to American Eagle! Can I interest you in our sale on denim? All jeans are two for $35 and our summer shirts are all half off! If you have any questions, just ask.” And if you see this person once again later, say, “Are you finding everything okay? Need me to look for something for you?”
Modern Art: Wear whatever you’d like. Legitimately anything. When someone asks you what you are, snarl a little and scoff, “I’m modernist art, you uncultured swine. Ugh, no one understands art,” and storm away completely offended. Extra points if you’re smoking a cigarette and roll your eyes.