Dealing with Eating Disorders
Life is hard, but life is even harder when you are dealing with things quietly. You don’t tell anyone because, well, how will they take it?
“Oh, it’s nothing.”
“Well just stop eating as much.”
“Keep yourself busy.”
Or,
“We can get you help, real help.”
“I’m here for you.”
“Let’s make up a plan.”
Eating disorders are terrible, horrible things to deal with. It’s something that you feel as if you should be able to control, but you can’t.
All my life, I have dealt with my weight. I’ve never been happy with how I look or how I feel. Coming to college, I promised myself I would fix that. I would go to the gym, I would eat healthier, I would take care of myself. I finally did my third year in, but it wasn’t in a healthy way. I starved myself. I would go hours and hours without eating anything and nothing but water, and sometimes coffee touched my mouth. I refused to see extra fat on my body. Looking back now, I was so skinny, but then, I thought I still had another twenty pounds to lose.
Fast forward a year later and I’ve gained now forty pounds back. Now, I’m not starving myself. I’m binging. It’s embarrassing. How can I go from one disorder to another? After a few weeks of feeling helpless, I finally have done my own research on it and finally asked for some help. Though, nobody in my personal life knows about any of this. How do you go to your family and tell them that you are eating too much or too little and you have no control over it? What happens when they tell you what you don’t want to hear? What happens when they hurt instead of help?
Reaching out for help was one of the best things I’ve done. I’ve come out of hiding and come to terms with what I’m dealing with and it has helped a lot. If you are dealing with anything similar please reach out for help. It’s for the best.
National Eating Disorder Hotline: 1-800-931-2237