Alright my pale peeps. So everyone knows that being pale in the summer basically means that you are a walking target for UV rays. You apologize to passersby for having your exposed skin blind them, and aloe Vera is suddenly the most important thing to exist in your life right now. SPF 300 exists in your wildest dreams, and you envy everyone with that ‘perfect summer glow’ look. You spend countless amounts of money on sunscreen that it’s disgusting, even during the winter months. Been there, done that. You’ve probably thought of all of these things before, but here are 16 things that every pale person can relate to during the summer.
1. Leaving the house in the summer without sunblock is NEVER an option.
You have your sunblock lotion, your spray bottle, your travel size, your spf chapstick, and your makeup with spf built in.
2. Changing your foundation shade from Porcelain Ivory to just Ivory.
This is a bit of an exaggeration. Usually you don’t even need to change shades. But hey, at least your paleness saves money!
3. Accepting the fact that your skin will always range from being slightly red to severely red.
“Does this lighting make me look more red?”
4. Especially when it’s hot out. Your rosy cheeks shine through your pale skin.
You can’t help that any bit of phyiscal activity makes it look like you just ran a marathon!
5. Convincing yourself that you look good.
I can totally rock this look with some green shorts! Christmas time, anyone?
6. Knowing that you’ll never truly be tan, even with self-tanner
7. Because you know that if you use self-tanner, you’ll look like a straight-up Oompa Loompa
Maybe this can be my next Halloween costume?
8. Out of sunscreen? It looks like I’m not leaving the house today.
It’s fine. I’ll just watch you have fun from in here.
8. Blending in with the sand.
I didn’t ask for this.
9. Wearing a hat not as a fashion statement, but because you need to.
This DOES bring together my outfit, but if I don’t wear it my scalp will burn to pieces!
10. Embracing that hat hair.
I’m going to pretend that I still look good.
11. Wearing long sleeves to avoid getting sunburn on top of your current sunburn.
It’s literally 95 degress out, but I have no other choice.
12. Feeling like death because it’s too hot in these long sleeves.
*sweats profusely* It’s fine.
13. Constantly moving around so you can sit in the shade.
The sun moves, and so do I.
14. Being told that standing next to someone makes them look tanner.
You’re suddenly being asked to stand next to your friends in photos. Not becasue they like you, but because you’re being used as an optical illusion.
15. “You should get some sun.”
*No comment*
16. Waiting for summer to be over so people can stop asking why you’re not tan.
Stop it! Just S T O P I T.
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I hope I summed summer all up for you. Thanks for reading, my pale peeps.