What Not To Tell Your Parents This Weekend

Hide the booze, throw away those Pizza-X boxes and clean up your room - the 'rents are in town! Once you're in college, parent-child relationships come to this weird stage where you feel like you're old enough to talk about certain things with them that you couldn't when you were younger. But there are still some things that you just shouldn't discuss with your parents, like, ever. Here are a few of those things:

  • How you're a functioning alcoholic. Keep your cool during tailgate when you're actually blacked out.

  • That you usually sleep in the cute boy's bed from across the hall instead of in your own, even though you've both never had a fully sober conversation.

  • About that D- you got on your finite exam. Don't worry mom and dad, let's cross our fingers my cute TA gives me extra credit.

  • The amount of times you've ordered Pizza-X ... in one night.

  • That you haven't washed your sheets since you arrived to school. 

  • That the "voluntary" community service you participate in is actually for your drinking tickets.

  • That the extra $100 you needed for textbooks was really for your fake ID. 

  • You only care about your grades so that you can rush, duh.

  • You've never stepped foot into Wells, even though most of your phone conversations end in, "Ok, gotta go, I'm at the library!"

Well, now that you've got through parents weekend, and had your Scholars Inn fix, go party the rest of the semester 'rents-free!