At one point in my life, my costume game was strong. Most likely because I was a child and my mother picked out my costumes. But hey, she knew a good costume when she saw one.
But then, the saddest thing happened…. my costume game slipped. Suddenly I was too cool for Halloween. Impossible, I know, but true. I suspect it was at the peak of my “too-cool-middle-school phase.” I’ll admit, I gave in to peer pressure. Costumes were for children and I was a grown-up.
No worries, though. I jumped back onto the Halloween bandwagon sometime in high school. And this time around, my mother wasn’t going to be picking out what I’d be wearing. Unfortunately, I was pretty out of practice. Here are some beautiful examples (don’t hate on how awkward I am in these pictures. They were a long time ago. They weren’t taken last year or anything….)
Aren’t I just super creative? I’ve been everything from an 80’s girl to a flower… I think? Over the past years, my easy, go-to costumes have been a cat, a woman in black, Taylor Swift (pre-2015), and a sexy lumberjack (which meant flannel and a skirt, it was cold, okay guys?)
But every year, I feel so determined! I want to have a rockin’ costume. I want to be memorable. I want to burst out of my shell and emerge as a beautiful butterfly.
With this in mind, I start considering Halloween costumes months in advance. Okay, that’s a lie. I think about them constantly. But I start seriously thinking about them in August. This is important. This is not just for fun. This is war people!
So I’m pretty strategic, figuring out a plan of attack.
There are many directions one could go in… pop culture-based, witty, typical, artsy, sexy, and so on and so forth. The possibilities are endless! Just check out pinterest and scroll for days.
With all of these options, it’s a struggle combining being creative, clever, sexy, cheap and lazy. Honestly, who has time to do all this? I can barely do my makeup in the morning.
The internal struggle sets in. Who really makes this big of a deal about Halloween anyways? Will people even remember costumes? Can’t I just stay in my sweatpants? I’ll be a couch potato. Super clever, yeah?
No. We’re not there yet. There’s still time. This is definitely my year for Halloween. I can feel it. So I try and recall past outfits that I’ve admired, but obviously can’t remember any. So I turn to the Internet, duh.
Sometimes you’re lucky enough to have a significant other or group of friends with whom to coordinate costumes. Makes things more difficult *ahem* I meant fun. Definitely more fun. Yeah. We’re that couple. Apparently.
With all of this deliberation, the deadline inevitably creeps up on you. All of a sudden, Halloween is next week. Dang it. Where has the time gone?!
Oh but that’s not the end of it. Once you’ve only got a week, in the blink of an eye, you’ve got less than 48 hours to get your shit together.
It’s going to be okay. You can still do this. Quick. Go to Goodwill. Inspiration will hit. Run around Goodwill in a blind panic. Ignore the weird looks. You are on a mission.
But sometimes, you leave defeated. Once again. Give in to failure. Put on your cat ears. Pull out the black dress.
It’s important to understand, these things happen. Some people aren’t cut out for epic costumes. Like me. Maybe I should go back to the days where my mother dressed me. I did ask for her advice and she suggested I dress up as a beer bottle…. so maybe she’s lost her magic touch too. If you have any beautiful ideas or advice, send me a comment. Help a sista out.