College can be a crazy experience that is full of surprises; however, it can get lonely pretty quickly. On a random Tuesday when your roommate is out, all your assignments are completed, and you are sitting in your dorm eating mac and cheese, the loneliness can hit you. While scrolling on Instagram, you see all of your hometown friends hanging out without you, and it can lead you to feel like you are alone.
Everyone Already Has Friends
If you walk around campus, it looks like everyone has friends. Girls are walking together on their way to class, groups of people are heading to the dining hall, and roommates seem attached at the hip. This can lead to a crisis where you feel like you are the only one without any friends.
However, this is not the case. In reality, people hope to appear less lost than the next person. They want to look like they have friends and are put-together, when in fact, they are holding on for dear life. People are often scared to branch out; it is in our nature to feel safe with those we know. You are not the only person who feels this way; however, you are simply being honest.
Homesickness Appears in Small Moments
Homesickness can creep up at unexpected moments. It can surface when seeing a mom and daughter touring campus or walking into the dining hall alone. It may even arise when you wish someone could be eating next to you during a meal, or when you want nothing more than to sleep in your own bed at home after a bad day. Most people expect to miss their family, but they often do not anticipate missing the little things, like having their pet follow them around the house.
Social Media Spiral
When doom-scrolling on TikTok or Instagram, you might see on your for-you page that people are having the time of their lives (parties, tailgates, cute outfits, etc.). This can lead to feelings of FOMO; however, people do not post the other side. They don’t share moments of crying over missing their parents, nor do they post about the times they sleep in and skip class because they don’t want to face the day. Just know that you are not the only one feeling lonely; people curate what they want others to see.
What Actually Helps?
Changing or curating a single thing can make a difference. There are numerous ways to make college feel less overwhelming. One way is to make a friend in class. Having a connection with one person that you can sit next to, study with, or even walk out of the building with can change your whole day.
Another way is to find a comforting routine. This could include having a weekly FaceTime with a loved one or making coffee in the morning. Maintaining stability in your life allows you to seek comfort and makes independence less scary.
A third way is to be okay with doing things alone. It’s not sad to run a Target errand alone or to explore campus by yourself. It’s perfectly fine to do things solo; everyone does it from time to time.
Lastly, give yourself time to form friendships. Friendships can take weeks or months to develop. They can blossom at unexpected times, such as when you meet someone in a club you are in or when you connect with them on social media. That’s how I met two of my friends!
Here’s the secret nobody tells you: The Lonely Girl Semester is temporary, but it shapes you as an individual. In the future, you will look back and realize that you have formed unexpected friendships, built routines that are part of your daily life, and become familiar with the campus. The once-creeping doom of loneliness will eventually transform into a space that slowly allows you to grow into a more independent and confident person. You will become someone new, and you will be proud of it.