My younger sister and I are really close, but to keep her from hooking up with my boyfriends (that’s another story), I decided to hook her up with my boy friends. Her and my friend Nathan* hit things off, but rumors quickly circulated that he was cheating on her was his ex-girlfriend. No matter how many times people tried to tell her, or how much proof they had, she refused to believe it.
They decided to take a break from each other, and when I returned home for Thanksgiving break she told me they had decided to work things out, “for real this time.” Fast forward a month later to Christmas break, and I was watching her sit on the couch and cry over this douche-bag. He hadn’t cheated on her once, or twice, but THREE times.
There’s one important thing you should know about me… I’m Italian. To some that might not mean much, but in simple terms we stick together especially when it comes to family.
After some searching and investigating, I found out the names of the three girls he had cheated on her with. One was his ex-girlfriend, another was his best friend’s current girlfriend (yes, seriously), and the third was an irritating bitch, Mallory*, that I had only crossed paths with at a few parties.
I knew I wouldn’t be able to damage all of them, so I chose the easiest victim. Thank god for social networking, right? My sister and I got together to choose our target. Facebook stalking led us to two conclusions: 1. On a scale of 1-10, my sister was Meghan Fox next to these girls, and 2. Mallory had a boyfriend.
I clicked on her boyfriend’s blue highlighted name and began to type him a message that I hoped would make him as sick as his girlfriend made my sister. I informed him of Mallory’s extra curricular activities. I offered up Nathan’s contact information (in case he needed to confirm with a reliable source) and told him everything else I knew from the days it occurred to the proof I had that it was still going on.
For hours I refreshed my computer waiting to hear back from this kid, and finally I heard the “ding” indicating that I had a new Facebook message. One small word was enough to send me over the edge… almost. “K,” was all he said.
I tried to think what to do next, but the fire had already begun to spread. Within 10 minutes, I knew I had pissed off a bunch of people. I got a text message from Nathan threatening to ruin my life, and my computer erupted with more “dings.”
Smiling to myself, I knew that I didn’t need to do any more damage. I had created the chaos and now I could sit back and watch it unfold from the comfort of my own home.
For days I received threatening emails from all three parties, but ignored them and continued to watch them hash things out themselves. I had created the drama, gave Nathan the public reputation of a cheating sleaze, and successfully broken up a once “happy” couple. My job was officially done, and I, not to mention my sister, was satisfied.
A couple weeks later I received one last email from Mallory’s boyfriend. Wondering what he wanted to discuss this time, I reluctantly opened it. To my surprise, it was an invitation to go on a date with him. I laughed out loud and deleted the email. Better luck next time buddy, besides, I wouldn’t want to have to ruin your life again.
*Names have been changed