HCIU’s first male writer, Gabe McHaffie, weighs in on burning questions from IU women! What do men think about feathers in girl’s hair, and is it okay to make the first move? Gabe tells all!
Question: What is your favorite and least favorite fashion trend for females?
~The worst trend right now—for either gender—has to be Uggs. Instant turn off. I have nothing against boots, but gosh Uggs are UGGly.
As far as a favorite fashion trend, it honestly depends on the woman, although; you can never go wrong with a sun dress or sneakers. It says, “I’m innocent, but I like to party.”
Question: What tips do you have for girls that want to go for a guy without seeming too forward, but still showing interest?
~The question of the ages! I have a few ideas that will allow you to show a guy you’re interested without being to forward about it.
1. Be fun. If you know something that he likes to do and that you’ll also enjoy, just let him know that you wanted to do it. One stipulation: if it’s a sport, don’t win.
2. Be Playful. Feel free to poke fun at him, or punch him every now and then. Tell corny jokes. See Laffy Taffy wrappers for some golden jokes.
3. Be complementary.Even though we may not show it, a complement can make our day. We want to hear how good we look or how smart we are or both. Once we are both at our respective housing, we will remember what you told us. I can’t guarantee any compliments back, but in the case you don’t receive one, it’s most likely because we are processing your compliment to us.
4. Be slightly distant.Science tells us that guys (and girls) want what they can’t have. So if you’re up the challenge, try and be a little distant. Don’t always be able to hang out. It makes pursuing you more challenging. You can be “fashionably late” also. WARNING: Too much distance can cause disinterest on the guy’s part. You have to find the right balance. Just say no once in a while.
5. Be cute.Try and look good when you two are hanging out. All the time may be inevitable, if you run into him at the gym for example, but when you two are hanging out, make that extra effort. Even though it’ll take you eons longer than he takes, once you finally meet up, he’ll notice. This may even help you with being fashionably late (rule #4), but again you don’t want that to translate to “I don’t care.”
If you follow these instructions, I’m sure your intentions will come across and you won’t be viewed as too forward.
Question: Do guys prefer to make the first move, or do they like it when the girls take charge? It seems like it takes a guy FOREVER to make a move even though they flirt with a girl. Is this because they are afraid of rejection, or they want the girl to be the assertive ones?
~Just like guys usually like to drive, we will also want to make the first move. Flirting before we make our move is just our way of testing the water. Unfortunately, men and women think differently, so sometimes when we “test the water” our brain doesn’t even know what it felt. (We can’t always tell the signals).
On a side note, Gabeyan (Gay-Bee-An) Theory states: Women have huge sender/receivers (imagine a radio tower). Women are constantly sending messages back and forth, they understand each other. Men are doing the same and likewise understand each other. It is rare for the smaller male receiver to pick up lest understand the messages being sent by women. The below picture illustrates what is going on.
In the picture the handsome male in the center, let’s just call him Gabe, is sending messages easily picked up by the women to his right and left. While at the same time, the women are also sending messages, but some of which Gabe cannot pick receive or understand. This shows an example of how easily miss communication can occur when a female may think that a male is picking up on her signals; while in reality, they literally passed right over his head.
But I digress. As I was saying, men do like to make the first move. The reason it may appear as if we are taking forever is one of three reasons: one, the man is actually taking forever; two, he may not be into you; or three, he is afraid of rejection. Men sometimes can’t make up their mind. In those cases I would say it’s going to take forever for him to make a move, but better late than never. The second reason, he may not be into you, is a sad reality both genders have to face from time to time. In these cases, it’s better not to dwell and move on.
The last option is probably the most frequent issue. We all feel a fear of being rejected. Men like to make the first move because of the sole fact that they are conquering that fear, and hopefully by the grace of God we do not get denied. Take all Disney movies for instance. There is a reason that each story has a prince fighting for his princess. It’s because of our deep desires to conquer everything for our princess. Cue the unified “awwww.”
To men, making the first move is a battle we must win.
Question: What do guys think of girls with feathers in their hair? Wild or weird
~I have seen the feathers go both ways. If it’s one or two small feathers that simply add an accent, those are ok.
BUT, what makes feathers weird is when it looks like you’re trying to slowly replace all of you hair with feathers. We men are looking for women, not birds.
Do you want Gabe to answer some of your burning questions? Email him at brospective@gmail.com!