In the summer before my freshman year of college, I was worried about making friends there, but also keeping my closest friends from high school. Growing up, my experiences with long distance friendships usually meant goodbye to that friend. Whether it was because someone had moved away, changed sports teams, or we had âgrown apart,â I had few long distance friendships that could be deemed successful, and I did not want that to happen to my high school friend group when we got to college.Â
My hometown group consists of four people including myself, now attending Columbia University, Ithaca College, George Washington University, and the University of Maryland. As we were all pretty involved in high school, we knew that our schedules would only get busier in college, and it wouldnât be easy to stay as close, being physically far apart. However, because of a few things we did in the past year, I can argue that these are still some of my closest friends and say we are making every moment count now that we are back together.Â
One concept that kept us close was the need to find, and prioritize, time for each other. Already preparing to see each other less in our last summer, being busy with sports, jobs, internships, and vacations, we fit each other into our schedules. We found the TimeTree app for a colorful shared calendar and quickly became addicted (we have another calendar together on it this summer). It helped us see exactly when we would all be available and take advantage of those specific times to hang out.Â
Although we don’t have the time at school for a shared calendar with every little event, other things that helped us prioritize each other were keeping the group chat active for random updates, seeing each other over breaks, and something we called âWaffle Wednesdays.â One of us got the idea from a TikTok, and unfortunately having nothing to do with wafflesâ âWaffle Wednesdayâ was a reminder to check in with one another. Whether through Facetime, voice messages, or videos, we tried our best to update the group on anything going on in our lives around once a week. We made this even more fun by giving show recommendations, sending throwback photos of each other, and starting to make plans for when we would see each other. Even my college friends and I started to keep in touch over longer breaks with a Waffle Wednesday every now and then.
The second reason I feel like we stayed so close is that we stayed vulnerable with each other. Starting school in a new place was not always rainbows and sunshine, so one thing I was extremely grateful for was knowing that my hometown friends were also still adjusting at their schools. While it’s good to grow and connect over time with college friends, there is something different about relating to people who remind you of home, who you have already grown close with, and can easily confide in. Having friends that will listen and open up to you is important to feeling supported, especially in overwhelming circumstances like starting college. Whether big or small, sharing our experiences kept us in the loop with one another’s lives and made it known to all of us that we were actually doing okay. Needless to say, some âWaffle Wednesday(s)â got deeper than others.
Lastly, I found that long distance friendships in college are what you make of them. Not all friendships are the same, but in all good friendships I think it’s important that you put in some level of effort. I have some friends that I only spoke to once or twice while at school but when we return home, we can pick up right where we left off. Still, I knew that I couldnât let that be the case with my best friends. I could not have made it through high school without them and I can now say that I need them just as much in college, even if weâre hundreds of miles apart. Despite the hustle and bustle of classes, extracurriculars, new friendships and relationships, sending a text update when you get some time is all it takes to catch up with your long distance friends. The same goes for college friends when youâre at home, ensuring that you have a strong community wherever you are.