I love my family very much, I promise. But, ever since I left for college things have been, understandably, different when I come home. I surprised by siblings in late September by coming home for the weekend, and I came home for fall break in mid-October, so Thanksgiving is not the first time I’ve been home. However, it is the longest I’ve been home.
My sisters, brother and father were in Lake Placid for a hockey tournament, and Monday through Wednesday all three of my siblings had school. Most of my friends from high school didn’t get back until late Monday or early Tuesday, so I had nothing to do for close to five days. When I did get to see my siblings, it was very easy to notice how much they had changed since I left. The first two times I came home, I think I caught them off guard. They were nice to me because my mom forced them to be, and things were as they were before I left for college. But this time, something was different.
Maybe it was the increased stress levels or the increase in the amount of time my siblings had to spend with me, but the way they acted was different. It was very clear this time around that they were not used to me being there, and that they had adapted to life without me. I understand that I have not played a big role within the family dynamic for close to three months now, but it’s still unsettling to see your family successfully readjust to life without you. The oldest of my younger sisters, who will soon be 17, has taken over what used to be my role as the more responsible and reliable of the children, which is not something I expected. Although I didn’t expect my family to completely fall apart with me away at school, I anticipated more of a rough transition period. I know that I am, for the most part, welcomed back by my family each time I visit, but I can’t help but notice how different it is without me there.