Last fall, British Vogue dropped an opinion piece that basically broke the internet.
It tapped into something we’ve all been noticing but haven’t quite named yet. This shift where, somewhere along the way, being single became the cooler flex. The culture had changed. Being unbothered became the aesthetic. Independence became the only acceptable narrative.
I absolutely get it — the dating pool is a mess. The bar is so low it’s practically living with groundhogs. Women are rightfully protecting their energy, their reputations and their Instagram grids. Rom-coms? They’re feeding delusions apparently. I respect the self-preservation.
Soft launches turned into no launches, women started cropping boyfriends out of photos like watermarks, girls started terrorizing men back. The piece, “Is Having a Boyfriend Embarrassing Now?” written by Chante Joseph, was interpreted like this, but her point wasn’t about rejecting romance altogether. It was about women building lives independently and refusing to settle for someone who’s just…fine. It’s not that love is embarrassing, it’s that we’ve outgrown accepting less.
It’s exactly that. Because I can listen to Metro or Future on repeat and still be the girl who genuinely believes in slow burns and romance. Those things can co-exist. The independent girl and the hopeless romantic? They’re not opposites. They’re the same person just depending on the day. My standards didn’t drop just because I’m no longer solo. Having standards doesn’t mean giving up on love, it means knowing what it actually looks like. Rom-coms aren’t feeding delusions, they’re reminding us what we should settle for. Some may have their questionable moments but at their core? They show effort, intention, someone who actually shows up. I’m honestly not an avid movie watcher, but for romance movies? Im sat. Every time.
And this week? Diva’s down… rom-coms saved, plans locked in and the girls can’t believe it either.
This Valentine’s Day, no matter where you’re at, whether you’re single and thriving, tangled in a situationship, still healing, emulating Future, in something that’s already real but nobody’s said it yet, long distance or quietly, finally in love. There’s a lengthy list of rom-coms for exactly where you are tonight. Find yours.
Flying Solo.
For the girl who’s totally fine (thanks for asking), and the girl still figuring that out…
you’re just living. Going out with your friends, taking yourself to dinner, booking solo trips and genuinely enjoying your own company. Some of you are thriving and some are healing, doing the work, crying to Phoebe Bridgers, and that’s okay. You’re the main character, the love interest and the happy ending all in one. These rom-coms get it. They’re about women who aren’t looking to be saved, just living their best lives and, maybe letting someone join the party if they’re worth it.
How to Be Single (2016)
Dakota Johnson navigates New York’s dating scene while figuring out who she is without a relationship defining her. Rebel Wilson steals every scene as the unapologetically single best friend who’s mastered the art of living for herself
Waiting to Exhale (1995)
Angela Bassett, Whitney Houston, Loretta Devine, and Lela Rochon as four Black women supporting each other through heartbreak, career challenges, and self-discovery. Come for the female rage, stay for the ode to friendship and sisterhood.
Thelma & Louise (1991)
Not a rom-com, but an ICONIC feminist film about two women (Susan Sarandon and Geena Davis) who choose to stick together, come hell or high water. The ultimate “we’re leaving the men behind” energy.
Someone Great (2019)
Gina Rodriguez’s character gets dumped and spends one last epic day in New York with her best friends before moving for a job. It’s about choosing yourself, your dreams and your friendship over a relationship that wasn’t serving you anymore.
High Fidelity (2000)
John Cusack revisits all his past relationships to figure out why he keeps failing at love. Messy introspective painfully real.
Sleeping with Other People (2015)
Jason Sudeikis and Alison Brie as serial cheaters who become platonic best friends. It’s proof that sometimes the most important relationship is the one that teaches you how to be alone without being lonely.
Vibe: Independence, self discovery.
Its Complicated.
For the girl who can’t explain her relationship status in one sentence…
you’re not together. But you’re also not not together. Here’s the thing: we watched Bridgerton and got mad when Benedict asked Sophie to be his mistress, but half of us are letting men do worse with zero commitment at all. At least a mistress had a title. You’re doing everything a couple does except actually being called one. Maybe you’re in something that feels real but nobody’s said it yet, stuck in limbo where every text feels loaded with meaning you’re both too scared to name. These movies live in that mess with you.
When Harry Met Sally (1989)
The slow burn blueprint. Billy Crystal and Meg Ryan spend years dancing around the fact that they’re clearly in love. It’s about timing, fear, and finally having the guts to say it out loud.
You’ve Got Mail (1998)
Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan are anonymous email pen pals falling for each other while hating each other in real life. The tension of not knowing if this is real or not.
10 Things I Hate About You (1999)
Kat and Patrick’s whole relationship starts as a transaction. Are they fake dating? Real dating? No clue. (They don’t know either for most of the movie.) Shakespeare’s Taming of the Shrew gets a modern makeover.
My Best Friend’s Wedding (1997)
Julia Roberts realizes she’s in love with her best friend right before his wedding. The situationship that never got named until it was too late.
Friends with Benefits (2011)
Mila Kunis and Justin Timberlake think they can have sex without feelings. Spoiler: they can’t.
No Strings Attached (2011)
Natalie Portman and Ashton Kutcher try the same thing with the same results. If you have to keep saying “no feelings,” there are definitely feelings.
The Idea of You (2024)
Anne Hathaway falls for a younger pop star in an undefined, secret, age-gap situation. It’s messy, it’s hot, and it’s exactly the kind of thing you know you shouldn’t be doing but can’t stop.
Four Weddings and a Funeral (1994)
Hugh Grant keeps running into Andie MacDowell at weddings and they have this unspoken thing neither of them names for WAY too long.
Palm Springs (2020)
Andy Samberg is stuck in a time loop and has given up on everything, including love. Nihilism meets rom-com.
Love From a Distance.
For the girl FaceTiming at 2am in different time zones…
you’re in different cities, states, countries, time zones. You’re trying to make it work with FaceTime dates, voice memos, and surprise plane tickets you can’t really afford. Some days it feels romantic, like you’re the couple who’s going to beat the odds. Other days it feels impossible, like you’re holding onto something that’s slipping through your fingers. These movies understand the unique agony of loving someone you can’t touch, the sacrifice it takes, and the question that haunts you: is this sustainable, or are we just delaying the inevitable?
Before Sunrise (1995) / Before Sunset (2004) / Before Midnight (2013)
Ethan Hawke and Julie Delpy meet on a train, spend one night in Vienna, then reunite years later. The trilogy is about timing, distance, and whether love can survive life getting in the way. One of the most critically acclaimed romance trilogies ever made
Like Crazy (2011)
Felicity Jones overstays her visa and gets banned from the U.S. What follows is years of trying to make it work across continents. Raw, realistic, heartbreaking.
Going the Distance (2010)
Drew Barrymore and Justin Long navigate a cross-country relationship with all the fights, frustrations, and phone sex. Funny, honest, surprisingly hopeful.
One Day (2011)
Anne Hathaway and Jim Sturgess check in with each other every year on the same day for 20 years. About timing, distance, and whether love can survive.
The Lake House (2006)
Keanu Reeves and Sandra Bullock fall in love while living in the same house… two years apart. Long-distance through literal time.
Serendipity (2001)
John Cusack and Kate Beckinsale meet, have instant chemistry, then spend YEARS trying to find each other again.
Vibe: Effort, sacrifice, “we’ll figure it out,” time zone math, airport goodbyes, questioning if it’s worth it.
The Real Deal.
For the girl who’s quietly, cautiously, finally letting someone in…
this one’s different. It’s not dramatic, no grand gestures, no airport run, no love confession in the rain. It’s just easy. Comfortable. Real. You didn’t see it coming, and now that it’s here, you’re terrified to talk about it too much because what if acknowledging it out loud makes it disappear? You’re the girl who’s been burned before, who’s learned to protect herself, and now someone’s shown up who’s gentle, consistent, and actually wants to stay. It’s the kind of love that doesn’t need to prove itself because it just is.
The Princess Bride (1987)
“As you wish” is the quietest, steadiest declaration of love ever. Patient, enduring, doesn’t need to shout.
Moonstruck (1987)
Cher falls for Nicolas Cage (her fiancé’s brother). Messy but deeply, quietly certain. About choosing love even when it’s inconvenient.
Notting Hill (1999)
Hugh Grant falls for Julia Roberts, a movie star. About second chances, vulnerability, letting someone in.
The Big Sick (2017)
Kumail Nanjiani falls in love, then falls into a coma. Cultural expectations, family pressure, real-life stakes. Based on a true story.
About Time (2013)
Time travel romance about choosing love on purpose, every single day. Tender, tearful, deeply romantic.
Brooklyn (2015)
Saoirse Ronan immigrates to America and has to choose love actively, deliberately. About building a life with someone.
Crazy, Stupid, Love (2011)
Steve Carell rediscovers what love is after his marriage falls apart. About second chances and showing up.
Enough Said (2013)
Julia Louis-Dreyfus and James Gandolfini as two divorced parents who find love again. Mature, tender, honest.
Vibe: Soft, steady, “I think this might be real,” cautious optimism, choosing love on purpose.
The Comeback.
For the girl who said “never again” but here we are…
you swore off dating. Deleted the apps. Told your friends you were done. And then someone showed up and made you reconsider everything. Maybe it’s an ex you thought you were over. Maybe it’s someone who broke through your walls when you weren’t looking. Maybe you’ve been enemies and suddenly the hatred turned into something else entirely. Either way, your guard is down, and you’re trying again, cautiously, skeptically, but trying. These movies are for the girls who thought they were out, but love pulled them back in.
Sleepless in Seattle (1993)
Tom Hanks is a widower who’s not ready to date. About grief, opening yourself up after devastating loss, believing you can find love a second time.
The Proposal (2009)
Sandra Bullock and Ryan Reynolds fake an engagement that becomes real. Enemies to lovers, forced proximity, all the tropes.
27 Dresses (2008)
Katherine Heigl has given up on love for herself. Then James Marsden shows up. The most frustrating watch but so worth it!
Red, White & Royal Blue (2023)
The President’s son and the Prince of England go from rivals to secret lovers. LGBTQ+ rep, huge hit.
Long Shot (2019)
Seth Rogen and Charlize Theron seem like an odd couple but the chemistry is PERFECT. Sharp, laugh out loud dialogue.
Plus One (2019)
Maya Erskine and Jack Quaid agree to be each other’s wedding dates all summer. Emotional whiplash in the best way.
Honorable Mention.
How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days (2003)
For the one I just can’t categorize but it absolutely had to be on the list! My all time favorite movie. Career driven Andie Anderson, a perfectly matched battle of wits, a swoony ending and a familiar New York City backdrop. I’m not vain, but if it’s on, I’m watching.
Vibe: Guard down, trying again, cautious optimism, falling when you didn’t mean to, enemies to lovers
The takeaway? Chante Joseph wasn’t wrong that something has shifted. The way we talk about love, relationships and vulnerability online has changed and for a lot of good reasons. But a girl can keep those high standards with the right set of movies to watch. Happy Valentines!