Problematic Traits to Avoid in Men

Like many of us growing up, I attended public schools, participated in extracurricular activities, and had a lot of friends come and go. So, like many of us, I’ve encountered a lot of problematic people, specifically men. Now that I'm in college, I’ve encountered even more people and even more men I’m glad I learned to avoid.

The following list includes the personality traits of people you should steer clear from. Some of them overlap and have some similarities. The traits will be referring to men for the purposes of this article. This comes from my personal experience and that of close friends.

1. Manipulative

Whether you’re in a platonic or romantic relationship with a man, if you feel as though he has an ulterior motive for being in your life, get out. He might be trying to use you to get to someone else, twist an argument to make himself the victim, make you feel bad for hanging out with other people, etc. All of these are bad signs.

2. Disrespectful

Another problematic personality trait is being disrespectful. This trait can show itself through small things such as leaving the door to close in your face, not making eye contact when having a conversation, or being rude to waitstaff at restaurants. It can also be displayed in larger instances like forgetting your birthday or anniversary, trash-talking your friends when they’re not around, or humiliating you at work. You just don’t deserve that kind of behavior.

3. Aggressive

This trait is probably the one to most look out for, as it could lead to some dangerous altercations. Obvious signs of aggression include physical behaviors like punching walls, getting into fist fights, and breaking glasses. But more subtle signs of aggressive behavior show through not leaving you alone or frequent arguments, insults, stubbornness and blunt responses to things you say.

4. Arrogant

This personality trait is more annoying than toxic. If you’re around a man that is always complimenting himself, never letting you get a word in a conversation, or bringing you down, you might want to consider breaking him off. Especially if he thinks you are in any way below him.

5. Secretive

Another type of man to avoid is one who is always keeping secrets from you. One who is hesitant to let you use his phone or won’t answer your questions about how his day went is a definite red flag. Whether he has something to hide or just doesn’t trust you, it’s worth noticing.

6. Unapologetic

Have you ever talked to a man who, no matter what he does to someone or if he messes something up, just won’t apologize? Maybe he blames not returning your call on the fact that you didn’t leave a message, or maybe he blames the unfinished work he was supposed to do on the assignment being unclear. Whatever it is, he’s blaming someone or something else. Not taking accountability for your actions is very problematic.

7. Unkind

The unkind trait can be interpreted many ways, but it basically refers to a man who’s just flat-out mean. If he always cuts you off mid-sentence, refuses to hear your side of an argument, tells you your opinion is wrong, or doesn’t take your feelings or ideas into account, he’s not a person you need to keep around. If he isn’t kind to you, don’t feel an obligation to be kind to him.