“We’ll keep in touch,” — It’s a phrase always drifting through the air as the thrills of senior year slowly melt into a monumental summer.
The phrase is frequent at graduations, after-prom celebrations, and even collegiate send-offs, but what’s the reality? As hard as we try to preserve it, nothing will ever be the same as high school hangouts — laughing at night in our friend’s cars and planning for prom are events that can never be replicated. But that’s all easy to ignore with a whole golden summer ahead, where soon-to-be freshmen hold tight to their hometown friends.
Except that wasn’t the case for me.
On July 13th, my lifelong best friend and next-door neighbor left for college early, and we shared a tearful goodbye right before my eight-hour shift. The week leading up to her departure we were inseparable — we went out to lunch, did neighborhood walks just like when we were kids, and made so many promises. It’s safe to say that I was a mess. My mom would find me crying alone in my room frequently, and at the time, I believed it was the be-all and end-all.
Then, all of a sudden, life continued as usual. I hung out with other friends and I even met up with my amazing college roommate for the first time in the Commons. On the way home from Ithaca, I called my best friend, and we just talked as normal. In that regard, I like to think I lived through the events that most typical college freshmen do a little early.
At first, adjusting to the distance from your best friends can be detrimental, but as soon as you begin to form new social connections and create new routines, that pain begins to fade into the back of your mind. However, from my limited experience with college, I’ve noticed that everyone is hit with homesickness and longing for their old life from time to time, so I’d like to share some strategies that have worked for me!
Make A Plan
For me, the most useful measure of keeping in touch has been planning out times that work to connect! Whether it’s sacrificing a bit of your Friday night to call a long-distance friend or weekly calls, there are so many little things you can do to try and keep in touch! I will say from experience — maintaining a weekly call schedule can be tough! Jadyn (my friend who left earlier in the summer) and I have been doing calls ever since she left, but as summer faded into the fall semester, we noticed it became much trickier to plan. It is so fulfilling to keep up with friends on a regular basis, but not everyone has the time or stamina for that. My best advice for staying close is to start small! Something as simple as a shared photo album can be a fun way to see what your friends are up to while you’re apart! My favorite app to recommend is Locket — it’s a fun photo sharing app that prompts you to craft a “roll-call” of flics from your week to be sent to your hometown friends!
Remember
When you were at home, your conversations with friends probably revolved around recaps of your school day, so why leave that behind in college? If something happens to you during class that your hometown friend would find hysterical, shoot them a text! Similarly, if you see an update about your friend’s favorite artist or TV show, reach out to them for their thoughts! Even if you’re not a fan of whatever it may be, I can say that it always cheers me up when someone thinks of me like that. It may seem to go without saying, but try your best to remember birthdays, holidays, or other special events that may have brought you closer together!
Check Your school Breaks
Depending on how far you are from home, fall, Thanksgiving, and winter breaks can be an amazing time to meet up with hometown friends! Keep your eyes on the academic calendar, and be sure to share dates with your friends at different universities to see if they match up! It may not always work out that the whole group can get together, but even just seeing a few friends can work out nicely! Over my fall break, three of my other friends had overlapping breaks, so we went out for dinner one night, and it felt just like old times! Sure, it would have been nice to see more of my friends over my short trip home, but it was very fulfilling to reconnect with some of my group.
Shared Experiences
This one can require a little more time or planning, but it can be totally worth it! Even while far apart, there are plenty of ways to feel close to friends! One way is to start a long-distance book club and try to read the same novel at the same time. Sharing your thoughts on different characters can be so much fun! This can also be done with a TV show, as I learned with some friends over fall break! While at home, a bunch of friends and I from Ithaca decided to start The Runarounds which quickly became a fun way to keep in touch while not physically together! And, if starting a new TV show or book seems too daunting with your workload right now, something as simple as a virtual game night can be fun! Using apps like GamePigeon and Roblox are great ways to get that game night feel from afar.
Breathe
College can be insanely stressful, so remember to cut yourself — and your friends — some slack! You are likely so busy with academics, extracurriculars, and other social connections that it can often be hard to keep in touch with people who are not immediate in your daily life — that’s okay. If you miss a call or respond late to a text — don’t beat yourself up over it! I have been there, but it’s important to understand that, even while separated by distance, your friends are likely going through the same thing. Be kind to yourself and extend the same kindness to them when they happen to miss a call, a text, or an update. The best friendships are not characterized by constant contact, but rather the love we have for one another, despite the distance!
These are only a few tricks and tips that have worked for me, but I hope they inspire you to find methods that work for you and your long-distance friends! Everyone’s friendships are different, so keep in mind what has worked best for you and your friends in the past. There are plenty of creative ways to keep in touch, from letter writing to group calls, and my only hope for you is that you find one that fits you best!